NIAW- You Are Not Alone

This year's theme for National Infertility Awareness Week is "You are Not Alone"

I want you to know that you are not alone in this struggle. I want you to know that statistically 1 out of 8 couples suffer from infertility. So please remember, you are not alone.

When we learned that our OB couldn't help us anymore, that we were crossing the threshold from OB to RE I had never felt so alone. Sure I had Matt, my family, his family but still I felt alone. I felt like I had failed.

Then I opened myself up.

I opened up about my infertility struggle.

I found out that I wasn't alone.

There are woman that I have met along with journey, some blogging friends who have become such a part of my life I couldn't imagine not interacting with them on a daily basis.These woman have opened up to me and shown me that I am not alone.

There are people that I know who are friends and acquaintances who after I opened up, opened up to me. They thought they were alone. They thought know one else knew what they were going through. They were wrong.

I was wrong.

After my miscarriage I again felt alone. I had Matt who was also going through this miscarriage with me, I had my family, his family and my bff's. I also had Reagan. That little girl was such a bright spot in that time.

Again though, I opened up about my miscarriage and the amount of people that I knew that came and talked to me literally floored me. Miscarriages and losses are those uncomfortable topics that no one talks about. You can't just bring it up at the dinner table or at the coffee shop. But it helped me to open up about it and if I helped just one person not feel alone then me sharing my story was important.

So please I beg you just know that you are not alone.

One Day at a Time

It's been almost a month since my miscarriage.

Life has returned to normal.

Well a new normal.

I don't think things will ever be "normal" or back the way it was. We just have evolved.

Physically I am back to normal. Mentally I have come a long way from where I was. I still have my moments when the air is sucked out of me when I see a pregnant woman or read an announcement. Especially as we get closer and closer to what would have been my due date.   Never though would I not be happy for a new life. So please if you know me and you see me take a moment before congratulating the new mom or snuggling the baby please don't think it is out of jealousy. It is a moment of mourning for me, for a lost child.

But each day I find myself doing better and better.

Thank you all for your prayers and checking in on me, you will never know just how much it meant to me.

I have been currently working on collecting pictures and pieces of art with sayings on them to make a gallery wall. We are going to be doing a huge renovation in our home and I will have a big blank wall that I cannot wait to fill up.

Ever since that night, the words Be Free have been in my head. It just kind of sums it up for me. Well, I wanted a way to incorporate that into my wall. I found this print and the shop owner was able to customize it for me. Most people when they look at it won't know the significance of the date but to me, this is a way to keep the memory alive. A way to be a part of our family wall.