It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times...

Pumping that is.

Today is my first full day of not pumping and while I am okay with the decision, but I didn't get there overnight. It took me over a month to decide that this was the best time to quit pumping. I knew with harvest approaching it would be near impossible. Plus, it wouldn't be fair to the other counterparts in the office to leave them hanging.

When I made the decision to quit pumping I went back and forth quite a few times. I placed a lot of guilt on myself which was completely unwarranted I know but nonetheless I did. My guilt came from the feeling of quitting. I have never been a quitter, even on certain things or jobs but I was raised that if you started something you finished it. Yet here I was, giving up before I reached my goal of one year. I was quitting. Irrational yes, a bit dramatic of course but this is how I felt. Then I started thinking of other things. I don't have to pack the pump, make sure I have enough storage bags, cleaning pieces and parts, it feels liberating. For example, I have to work today and be at work by 8. My brother and future sis in law are watching Reagan and they go to 7:30 mass so I had to have Reagan to my parents by 7.  I got to sleep an extra half hour because I didn't have to pump this morning.  Plus I didn't have to drag another bag out the door. Score!

So tonight I have to clean the pump and I am going to put it away in the closet and hoping that I will need it again.