The Sickness

The flu hit our house big time this past weekend. Saturday night it started with Reagan. 3 or 4 baths that night and multiple sheet changes she finally quit and was able to sleep. She ran a slight fever of about 100. She had one more episode Sunday morning but it was all the pedialyte. Um by the way that stuff tastes just as bad as it smells!

Then Sunday I get a text that our sitter was sick. I knew it must be bad if she didn't want to take any of the kids. So that left me scrambling. Thank goodness my brother's fiancee didn't have to work.

Early Tuesday morning, Matt lost his cookies. According to him, he was dying. He texted me at work and told me to contact the funeral home, priest and cemetary. He also willed Reagan and I all his junk and I got the diesel truck and Reagan the green (lovingly referred around here as the green weenie).

Our sitter was still sick as well which left me to find another back up. Thankfully a family friend was able to watch her. My mom felt bad that she had committed to sub already or she would have watched her. Matt's mom had surgery a few weeks ago and she can't lift Reagan yet. I haven't had the need to ever line up a back up sitter but this week made me realize that I need too!

Today, I woke up with a horrible headache and just somewhat achy. I told myself that I wasn't going to get sick. So I came home and slept almost all day. I feel so much better. I don't have time to be sick (like who does?) but there is so much going on these next two weeks.

Sad part though, because of the sickness I have yet to meet Laura's new addition Ruby and my bff's addiction baby boy D. Ahh sickness you suck!!

Pondering Baby #2

I swear there must be something in the water these days. The amount of pregnancy announcements I've seen or heard or read about seem to multiply by the day. They aren't as hard to see like they used to be, but yet they still stir something within me.

When we found out we were pregnant with Reagan I was like YES, we finally made it to the club. The pregnant/mom club. Now as time has gone on ( time doesn't stop so we can catch up with everyone else? say whatttt?) people who were pregnant while I was pregnant or even after I was pregnant are expecting again. This is when my brain starts reeling. Should I try and get pregnant again? What if I can't get pregnant and it takes a long time? What if I never get pregnant again? What if it happens right away?

Then I stop, shake my head and tell myself to pull it together.

I'm not pregnant now because that's not where we are, we aren't ready for another baby. I'm on BCP for goodness sakes! Don't take that as I wouldn't be overjoyed if we were pregnant because I would be! But I just know the financial strain, emotional strain and every other strain that it would put on our family right now. I always wanted a big family, at least 4 kids. Matt says 6 but after having Reagan he has quickly changed his mind! I also said I didn't know who he was going to have 6 kids with but it wasn't going to be with me!   After the struggle, I don't know if that will happen and right now I'm choosing not to think about it.

I kind of feel like Scarlett O'Hara at the end of the book, "After all, tomorrow is another day."

A Birthday Party for a Farmgirl

I would like to start out saying that we don't really get wild and crazy about birthday's in my family. I mean we acknowledge them and give a gift or a card but we don't have parties and quite frankly we are still trying to go out to dinner as a family for my dad's birthday from December. Don't get me wrong, birthday's are important and should be celebrated but we just choose to do ours on a much smaller scale.

Except for the first birthday.

Now, I've stated before that I refuse to compare Reagan to other babies close to her age. I choose to do this because each child is different and I don't go by the books either. So when planning her first birthday I was not going to compare her's to other peoples that I had seen on facebook or pinterest. Some of the birthday parties that I had seen on pinterest were amazing, adorable, and picture perfect. I made the assumption that either those people were uber crafty, had way to much time on their hands, had tons of money or paid for someone to do it. I had none of those. So off to Hobby Lobby I went with some vague idea of things I wanted.

I knew we were doing a farm theme but that was about it. Thank goodness Hobby Lobby had some great items that went with the theme.

Her party was great, she loved all the attention! She crashed and crashed hard that night and it took her most of Sunday to recuperate.

Loved her cake!

Favor bags with cow pies and road apples (peanut clusters and oreo balls)

Obsessed with balloons!

We kept it super simple.

Seeing all of her monthly pictures lined up made me almost tear up.

My little family!

Uncle Matt and Aunt Kiki

Mom's face is priceless

Do not touch my cupcake

Just kidding, I can share.

I really get to eat this entire thing!!!

And down we go...

This is Reagan and J her sitter. She was so excited to see her that night!

One Year Pictures

I have so much to catch up on, including her birthday party!

For now though, I will leave you with her first year pictures.

www.photographybyluann.com View Proofs and enter your e-mail address. Enjoy!

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

I knew this day would come eventually, I just didn't think it would get here as fast as it seemed too.

I now have a 1 year old. A 1 year old, seriously. No longer a baby, no longer do I need to count in months, she is 1.

What a year it has been, from having an unplanned c-section (you can reread all about that day here, here, and here) to jaundice to heart murmurs. To crawling, walking and running. From breastfeeding, formula, baby food and regular food. From having no teeth to getting her top ones in first. Diapers, wipes, explosions, and Matt wanting to potty train her. Boat rides, camping, fairs, babysitters, farming and swim lesson. This little girl has had an amazing first year. So on this day I forget the sleepless nights, the screaming, the messes and just remember the cuddly baby that we brought into this world, our new year's baby, our everything.

A Baby Changes Everything

Christmas Eve, already!! Seriously where did the year go?

I cannot wait for Reagan's first Christmas tomorrow. I know she won't know what is going on and she will have more fun with the paper and boxes but it is still something I will treasure forever. I've waited for this day when I get to have my own little family on Christmas morning.

I am a huge sucker for the traditional Christmas songs, Silent Night and The First Noel are my absolute favorites. However, the other day I had CMT on and this song came on. By the time it was over I was crying, tears streaming down my face. I don't get religious on this blog because I have my views and you all have yours and we may not agree and that is okay but this song, yea, wow.

It is true, a baby changes everything.



Here is our first family Christmas card. Some people will be getting theirs after Christmas but it is the thought that counts right?

Christmas2013

View the entire collection of cards.

Here in just a week I will also have a 1 year old. Yea more on that later.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Introducing...

So remember a while ago that I mentioned I was working on a little project? Well, I introduced it to the world via pinterest this morning and now I am sharing it with all of you. I decided to start a second blog. This new blog will chronicle my weight loss journey. I want this blog to remain what it is, an infertility, parenting, pictures of an adorable baby and sometime in the future the story to baby #2. Therefore, I decided to start the second blog. Of course I will still be updating this one along with the other (call me crazy right!) Without further ado, I would like to invite you all to look at

www.selfishmomma.blogspot.com