Mommy and Me Session

I believe I mentioned before that I had another mommy and me session a few weeks ago. (Here is the one from last year  These pictures mean so much to me because I'm the one behind the lens (I say lens like I'm so awesome photog when in reality it is usually my phone with an IG filter). Anyhooo, here are the 10 images that I chose.

Seriously, when did she get so big?

Mother's Day & Farming

**I've had this post here since Monday but it just wasn't sounding right to me. Well, better late than never I guess.**

Who ever decided mother's day needed to be in May obviously was not a farmers wife.Therefore, I knew we wouldn't be doing anything fun or exciting on mother's day unless it was raining. If it happened to be raining, every piece of equipment had to be in tip top shape or else the day would be spent in the shop.

The weather was gorgeous so I mentally prepared myself that after mass and breakfast with my family Matt was going to be busy. I was hopeful though that he would at least have a card for me.

Wrong

No card, nothing.

I'm not upset about not getting a gift. I'm not upset about not spending the day together. I'm upset at the lack of acknowledgement of the day.

So when he came in I was folding clothes and I lost it. Tears, blubbering and walking away.

I heard him leave but honestly didn't care where he went. I had laundry to finish before my mom came over for supper (since my dad had to work second shift and my brother wasn't going to be home I didn't want her sitting alone).

I was at the clothesline when he came back with one of those giant cards and a rose. He had that sheepish little boy look on his face and handed me the card. I should have taken a picture of it because  his note in there said thanks for always putting up with me and believing in me. we love you love Chase, Chunky, Zoe, Matt & Reagan.

Seriously

How do you stay mad at that? He also gave me a rose (because we have 1 kid) and $25 to Olive Garden that way when Reagan and I are shopping we can go out to dinner.

Ugh he frustrates me, ticks me off and then goes and does something like that.

I do think though that he understood my frustration as to why I was mad. He got it and he made up for it.

As much as he frustrates me, drives me insane I love him.

Easter Fun

First off how can it be Easter, how can we seriously be halfway through April?

Anywhoo- this was Reagan's second Easter. She obviously doesn't get Easter or any holiday for that matter but the older she gets the more fun the holidays will be.

We started the day at 7:30 mass since Matt wanted to get home and farm. He had wheat to top dress and ground to work. #farmlife (I've been all about hashtags lately). So we drove 2 vehicles to church because I had intentions of stopping and seeing my mom, aunt and uncle before their church and that way they could see Reagan in her dress. Also I needed to run to Wal-Mart because the Easter bunny hadn't been to our house yet. And since Matt was farming the Easter bunny wasn't going to come till we went to my parents. I won't lie, it was nice not to have to fight the crowds and get candy on sale.

First Easter egg hunt

The best picture we got

Admiring her eggs

15 Months and Still Feeling Sleepy....

Friday we had Reagan's 15 month appointment. I feel weird saying I have a 15 month old. It just feels weird, like there is no way she can be that old yet. I also feel weird answering people still in months when they ask how old she is. I just never know if I'm one of those people who always count in months until they are 2 or do I just say she is a year? #firsttimemomprobs

She weighs 25lbs and is 32 1/4 inches tall. I'm not sure of the percentiles but I know she jumped up in the height so much so that the doctor remeasured her because he didn't believe it. My little girl is so tall! She has had a cough and runny nose but I've been contributing it to the fact that she has had some back teeth coming in and poor girl probably inherited my allergies. We've been doing Zyrtec which helps but the doctor gave us something else to try and so far it has been working. I can tell she is feeling better as well. I just hate seeing her miserable!

Speaking of miserable, I thought we had turned the page on the whole not sleeping thing, yea not so. She did good all week and then Thursday night the screaming, crying, throwing herself out of the crib started again. As much as I hated to do it, I put her in our bed and we all slept. Saturday night she spent part of the night in our bed and part in hers and Sunday the same. I just wish I knew what triggers the sudden change in mood. I don't want her to rely on getting to sleep in our bed but at the same time, I need sleep so I'm just rolling with it. Ugh so frustrating!

Please ignore the fact that my husband doesn't have a shirt on, but this is how they were when I came home from working out this morning. While it isn't an ideal situation, I do love the cuddles.

Bedtime...or Lack Thereof

Reagan has always been an excellent sleeper. We have been spoiled. I mean she was sleeping through the night at 7 weeks. As she got older we established a pretty good night time routine. She would get her bath, read then head to bed around 7:00 or 7:30 (this also allowed Matt and I to watch Wheel of Fortune & Jeopardy, nerdy much?). It was great, she would take her lamby and sippy cup and walk back to bed. Easy peasy.

Until the time change...

Now we have a child who refuses to go to bed. We've extended bed time till 8. No biggie right. Well, even at that it is a fight to get her to go to bed. I mean it is a screaming, crying fit. She cries and screams so hard she actually breaks out into a sweat. I let her cry for a bit but I can't stand it when she cries so hard she starts coughing and such.

When she does finally fall asleep she sleeps all night and I have to wake her up in the morning. Before when she would go to bed earlier she would wake up around 6:30 or so. It is easier to get ready in the morning without her being up but I also kind of like our mornings of breakfast and watching Super Why and Thomas the Train.

I'm not sure how to get her back into the habit of going to bed without a fight. Any suggestions?

The Sickness

The flu hit our house big time this past weekend. Saturday night it started with Reagan. 3 or 4 baths that night and multiple sheet changes she finally quit and was able to sleep. She ran a slight fever of about 100. She had one more episode Sunday morning but it was all the pedialyte. Um by the way that stuff tastes just as bad as it smells!

Then Sunday I get a text that our sitter was sick. I knew it must be bad if she didn't want to take any of the kids. So that left me scrambling. Thank goodness my brother's fiancee didn't have to work.

Early Tuesday morning, Matt lost his cookies. According to him, he was dying. He texted me at work and told me to contact the funeral home, priest and cemetary. He also willed Reagan and I all his junk and I got the diesel truck and Reagan the green (lovingly referred around here as the green weenie).

Our sitter was still sick as well which left me to find another back up. Thankfully a family friend was able to watch her. My mom felt bad that she had committed to sub already or she would have watched her. Matt's mom had surgery a few weeks ago and she can't lift Reagan yet. I haven't had the need to ever line up a back up sitter but this week made me realize that I need too!

Today, I woke up with a horrible headache and just somewhat achy. I told myself that I wasn't going to get sick. So I came home and slept almost all day. I feel so much better. I don't have time to be sick (like who does?) but there is so much going on these next two weeks.

Sad part though, because of the sickness I have yet to meet Laura's new addition Ruby and my bff's addiction baby boy D. Ahh sickness you suck!!

Pondering Baby #2

I swear there must be something in the water these days. The amount of pregnancy announcements I've seen or heard or read about seem to multiply by the day. They aren't as hard to see like they used to be, but yet they still stir something within me.

When we found out we were pregnant with Reagan I was like YES, we finally made it to the club. The pregnant/mom club. Now as time has gone on ( time doesn't stop so we can catch up with everyone else? say whatttt?) people who were pregnant while I was pregnant or even after I was pregnant are expecting again. This is when my brain starts reeling. Should I try and get pregnant again? What if I can't get pregnant and it takes a long time? What if I never get pregnant again? What if it happens right away?

Then I stop, shake my head and tell myself to pull it together.

I'm not pregnant now because that's not where we are, we aren't ready for another baby. I'm on BCP for goodness sakes! Don't take that as I wouldn't be overjoyed if we were pregnant because I would be! But I just know the financial strain, emotional strain and every other strain that it would put on our family right now. I always wanted a big family, at least 4 kids. Matt says 6 but after having Reagan he has quickly changed his mind! I also said I didn't know who he was going to have 6 kids with but it wasn't going to be with me!   After the struggle, I don't know if that will happen and right now I'm choosing not to think about it.

I kind of feel like Scarlett O'Hara at the end of the book, "After all, tomorrow is another day."