The Sickness

The flu hit our house big time this past weekend. Saturday night it started with Reagan. 3 or 4 baths that night and multiple sheet changes she finally quit and was able to sleep. She ran a slight fever of about 100. She had one more episode Sunday morning but it was all the pedialyte. Um by the way that stuff tastes just as bad as it smells!

Then Sunday I get a text that our sitter was sick. I knew it must be bad if she didn't want to take any of the kids. So that left me scrambling. Thank goodness my brother's fiancee didn't have to work.

Early Tuesday morning, Matt lost his cookies. According to him, he was dying. He texted me at work and told me to contact the funeral home, priest and cemetary. He also willed Reagan and I all his junk and I got the diesel truck and Reagan the green (lovingly referred around here as the green weenie).

Our sitter was still sick as well which left me to find another back up. Thankfully a family friend was able to watch her. My mom felt bad that she had committed to sub already or she would have watched her. Matt's mom had surgery a few weeks ago and she can't lift Reagan yet. I haven't had the need to ever line up a back up sitter but this week made me realize that I need too!

Today, I woke up with a horrible headache and just somewhat achy. I told myself that I wasn't going to get sick. So I came home and slept almost all day. I feel so much better. I don't have time to be sick (like who does?) but there is so much going on these next two weeks.

Sad part though, because of the sickness I have yet to meet Laura's new addition Ruby and my bff's addiction baby boy D. Ahh sickness you suck!!

Pondering Baby #2

I swear there must be something in the water these days. The amount of pregnancy announcements I've seen or heard or read about seem to multiply by the day. They aren't as hard to see like they used to be, but yet they still stir something within me.

When we found out we were pregnant with Reagan I was like YES, we finally made it to the club. The pregnant/mom club. Now as time has gone on ( time doesn't stop so we can catch up with everyone else? say whatttt?) people who were pregnant while I was pregnant or even after I was pregnant are expecting again. This is when my brain starts reeling. Should I try and get pregnant again? What if I can't get pregnant and it takes a long time? What if I never get pregnant again? What if it happens right away?

Then I stop, shake my head and tell myself to pull it together.

I'm not pregnant now because that's not where we are, we aren't ready for another baby. I'm on BCP for goodness sakes! Don't take that as I wouldn't be overjoyed if we were pregnant because I would be! But I just know the financial strain, emotional strain and every other strain that it would put on our family right now. I always wanted a big family, at least 4 kids. Matt says 6 but after having Reagan he has quickly changed his mind! I also said I didn't know who he was going to have 6 kids with but it wasn't going to be with me!   After the struggle, I don't know if that will happen and right now I'm choosing not to think about it.

I kind of feel like Scarlett O'Hara at the end of the book, "After all, tomorrow is another day."