Sunday, September 29, 2013

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times...

Pumping that is.

Today is my first full day of not pumping and while I am okay with the decision, but I didn't get there overnight. It took me over a month to decide that this was the best time to quit pumping. I knew with harvest approaching it would be near impossible. Plus, it wouldn't be fair to the other counterparts in the office to leave them hanging.

When I made the decision to quit pumping I went back and forth quite a few times. I placed a lot of guilt on myself which was completely unwarranted I know but nonetheless I did. My guilt came from the feeling of quitting. I have never been a quitter, even on certain things or jobs but I was raised that if you started something you finished it. Yet here I was, giving up before I reached my goal of one year. I was quitting. Irrational yes, a bit dramatic of course but this is how I felt. Then I started thinking of other things. I don't have to pack the pump, make sure I have enough storage bags, cleaning pieces and parts, it feels liberating. For example, I have to work today and be at work by 8. My brother and future sis in law are watching Reagan and they go to 7:30 mass so I had to have Reagan to my parents by 7.  I got to sleep an extra half hour because I didn't have to pump this morning.  Plus I didn't have to drag another bag out the door. Score!

So tonight I have to clean the pump and I am going to put it away in the closet and hoping that I will need it again.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

If I Had to Choose Again...

4 years ago today on  bright sunshiney gorgeous September day I said I do to an amazing man. A man who has seen me at my worst, a man who has seen me at my best and every where in between. I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else.

I've wanted to write a post about Matt for awhile, ever since Reagan was born I have wanted too but other things have come up and it keeps getting pushed to the back burner. So no time like your anniversary right!

My open letter to Matt,

There was no love at first sight for me, I didn't have time for a boyfriend and quite frankly didn't want one. Little did I know the plans God had for us when I met you that night. As time went on you were always there through those crazy high school years and somehow I think you knew what was coming when I went off to college. I broke your heart over a phone call, it wasn't fair to you and down right cruel to just drop you like a hot potato. I won't lie though, I had a blast in college but you did cross my mind, when a song would come on, driving somewhere, eating at a restaurant. Maybe it was subliminal hints, telling me who I was meant to be with. Running into you at Burger King that summer day I'm pretty sure was fate. Hanging out that summer felt comfortable, like that old worn in hooded sweatshirt in the back of your closet. From that point on, I knew in my heart I was going to marry you.


Our wedding day was everything I had ever hoped for. While the cards have faded, pictures put away the memories are still there and will always be close to my heart. Our first years of marriage weren't perfect. We had our ups and downs like any couple but it made us stronger and our love deeper. They say love grows in little houses and I couldn't agree more. When we knew we were ready to have a baby you were my rock when things didn't go as they should have. Your no nonsense approach was what kept me grounded and pushed me to keep going. You knew it would happen and it did.

The day we had Reagan I was so scared. I wanted her to arrive safely and knew a c-section was the only way to guarantee that. You being there and supporting me in whichever way we decided to go was priceless. Then I sent you home to gather up all the bags and extra stuff. To this day I'm still surprised you were able to get it all there. I melted the first time I saw you holding her and even now my favorite site is you and her together.

While things aren't always perfect, we worry, we fight, we make up please know that on my darkest days you are always there and when you slip and stumble I am there for you to pick you right back up. There are days I take you for granted but please know that I would be lost without you. I am the luckiest woman because I get to call you my husband and father to our children. So happy anniversary Matt, I love you with all my heart. 


Monday, September 9, 2013

Checking In

I feel like it has been forever since I have had an update on Reagan. Time just slips away because I now have an 8 month old, like seriously!

She has learned to pull herself up onto everything! The sitter said on Friday she came back to her standing up in the crib just smiling away. Reagan has added her fingerprints to the collection on the back door at the sitters as well. After seeing her standing up in her own crib we lowered it way down so now when she stands up in it she can't topple over.

We are babbling, talking and yelling and sometimes all at once. Baba is the favorite word followed by Mama (not being biased at all!). I still have not heard Dada (Matt says he has) though so I just told him we know who the favorite is!

We have 4 teeth coming in all at once. Poor girl has been a champ through it. There are times when she is fussier and doesn't know whether she wants held or to be left alone. At those times it is best to give her a cold chew toy, lambie (her favorite blanket), binks and put her in her crib.

She will take a few assisted steps but nothing major yet. Getting anything done around the house with her crawling everywhere is darn near impossible. When I am trying to get things done she spends time in baby jail (aka the play pen). She also manages to find everything that the sweeper or swiffer has missed and feels that it needs to go into her mouth.

She understands the word No but doesn't always like to abide by it. The first time you say no she smiles, the second time she giggles and by the 3rd time I have moved her away from the object and usually a tantrum ensues. Lord help me when her terrible 2's come along.

Hey new friend!

After swimming bottle with Aunt Nikki

Blueberries-1 Brutus-0

Um Mom please let me out