If I Had to Choose Again...

4 years ago today on  bright sunshiney gorgeous September day I said I do to an amazing man. A man who has seen me at my worst, a man who has seen me at my best and every where in between. I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else.

I've wanted to write a post about Matt for awhile, ever since Reagan was born I have wanted too but other things have come up and it keeps getting pushed to the back burner. So no time like your anniversary right!

My open letter to Matt,

There was no love at first sight for me, I didn't have time for a boyfriend and quite frankly didn't want one. Little did I know the plans God had for us when I met you that night. As time went on you were always there through those crazy high school years and somehow I think you knew what was coming when I went off to college. I broke your heart over a phone call, it wasn't fair to you and down right cruel to just drop you like a hot potato. I won't lie though, I had a blast in college but you did cross my mind, when a song would come on, driving somewhere, eating at a restaurant. Maybe it was subliminal hints, telling me who I was meant to be with. Running into you at Burger King that summer day I'm pretty sure was fate. Hanging out that summer felt comfortable, like that old worn in hooded sweatshirt in the back of your closet. From that point on, I knew in my heart I was going to marry you.

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Our wedding day was everything I had ever hoped for. While the cards have faded, pictures put away the memories are still there and will always be close to my heart. Our first years of marriage weren't perfect. We had our ups and downs like any couple but it made us stronger and our love deeper. They say love grows in little houses and I couldn't agree more. When we knew we were ready to have a baby you were my rock when things didn't go as they should have. Your no nonsense approach was what kept me grounded and pushed me to keep going. You knew it would happen and it did.

The day we had Reagan I was so scared. I wanted her to arrive safely and knew a c-section was the only way to guarantee that. You being there and supporting me in whichever way we decided to go was priceless. Then I sent you home to gather up all the bags and extra stuff. To this day I'm still surprised you were able to get it all there. I melted the first time I saw you holding her and even now my favorite site is you and her together.

While things aren't always perfect, we worry, we fight, we make up please know that on my darkest days you are always there and when you slip and stumble I am there for you to pick you right back up. There are days I take you for granted but please know that I would be lost without you. I am the luckiest woman because I get to call you my husband and father to our children. So happy anniversary Matt, I love you with all my heart. 

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