Sunday, September 29, 2013

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times...

Pumping that is.

Today is my first full day of not pumping and while I am okay with the decision, but I didn't get there overnight. It took me over a month to decide that this was the best time to quit pumping. I knew with harvest approaching it would be near impossible. Plus, it wouldn't be fair to the other counterparts in the office to leave them hanging.

When I made the decision to quit pumping I went back and forth quite a few times. I placed a lot of guilt on myself which was completely unwarranted I know but nonetheless I did. My guilt came from the feeling of quitting. I have never been a quitter, even on certain things or jobs but I was raised that if you started something you finished it. Yet here I was, giving up before I reached my goal of one year. I was quitting. Irrational yes, a bit dramatic of course but this is how I felt. Then I started thinking of other things. I don't have to pack the pump, make sure I have enough storage bags, cleaning pieces and parts, it feels liberating. For example, I have to work today and be at work by 8. My brother and future sis in law are watching Reagan and they go to 7:30 mass so I had to have Reagan to my parents by 7.  I got to sleep an extra half hour because I didn't have to pump this morning.  Plus I didn't have to drag another bag out the door. Score!

So tonight I have to clean the pump and I am going to put it away in the closet and hoping that I will need it again.


  1. I understand all the emotions around this, but instead of letting that guilt creep in, you can CELEBRATE the fact that you pumped as long as you did! Nice job, mama. Breastfeeding/bottles/pumping: No matter how long you do it, it's NOT easy.

  2. Congrats! You did AWESOME! I'm looking forward to packing up the pump someday :)