I swear there must be something in the water these days. The amount of pregnancy announcements I've seen or heard or read about seem to multiply by the day. They aren't as hard to see like they used to be, but yet they still stir something within me.
When we found out we were pregnant with Reagan I was like YES, we finally made it to the club. The pregnant/mom club. Now as time has gone on ( time doesn't stop so we can catch up with everyone else? say whatttt?) people who were pregnant while I was pregnant or even after I was pregnant are expecting again. This is when my brain starts reeling. Should I try and get pregnant again? What if I can't get pregnant and it takes a long time? What if I never get pregnant again? What if it happens right away?
Then I stop, shake my head and tell myself to pull it together.
I'm not pregnant now because that's not where we are, we aren't ready for another baby. I'm on BCP for goodness sakes! Don't take that as I wouldn't be overjoyed if we were pregnant because I would be! But I just know the financial strain, emotional strain and every other strain that it would put on our family right now. I always wanted a big family, at least 4 kids. Matt says 6 but after having Reagan he has quickly changed his mind! I also said I didn't know who he was going to have 6 kids with but it wasn't going to be with me! After the struggle, I don't know if that will happen and right now I'm choosing not to think about it.
I kind of feel like Scarlett O'Hara at the end of the book, "After all, tomorrow is another day."
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Ahhhh I could have written this! I feel the exact same way. I just heard that one of my friends is pregnant with her 2nd and (for a second) made me feel pangs of jealousy that I have not felt in some time. I am not sure how I could afford another $-wise or time-wise, plus my issues staying pregnant, being pregnant, and having the baby make it all the less appealing. Seeing little babies, though, makes me forget about all of that. I guess we can both try not to think about it right now. ;-)
ReplyDeleteBaby fever :)
ReplyDeleteRegardless of what you decide, I can't wait to keep reading updates.
Uh-oh, I'm gonna make your baby fever even worse :) I can imagine that's going to be a hard decision to make. I feel like it's kind of what they say about the 1st one. If you wait until you're ready, emotionally, financially, etc you'll never be ready.
ReplyDeleteBaby fever. Natural feelings when your little on is not so little anymore. (I think). You'll know when you're ready. If you guys are thinking 6 - you better get going!
ReplyDeleteHeat, hear, sister! We are using NFP and are being careful to avoid pregnancy right now. If it happens, though, we'd certainly be okay (excited even!) but we would prefer to have kids 2-2.5 years apart. Which means in a perfect world, I would get pregnant in July, but we know the world doesn't work that way! Ha! I have the same fears about it taking a long time or not happening at all. We want 3! Time will tell...
ReplyDeleteBaby fever! don't stress yourself on thinking too much. Relax and pray and everything will be alright.
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ReplyDeleteI completely understand!!! It still hurts to see pregnancy after pregnancy. I got pregnant one month after my cousin had her daughter. Her son is now one month & it's like "ok, my turn again". I've watched 3 people in my family have a kid since Katie was born, one was due on Katie's birthday. It made me so baby sick, I wanted a little boy so bad. My husband didn't deploy & it's like "do we try? we're not ready but... what if. What if: it happens, it takes 6 years like the first time, it never happens again. It's hard. I know we're not ready for another but I still wonder & at times want another baby right now. :( It's definitely hard.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same boat, sister! I think it's a mommy-hormone thing lol. I see a newborn, old pictures of Ethan or pregnant ladies and my womb aches lol. Then I snap back to reality. I don't really WANT another baby right now but I'm also nervous it will take a while or we will never be able to afford it. Ethan is still a baby in my eyes, we are broke and tired, lol. Doesn't change the feeling though. So many people I know had babies around the same time I had mine and are on their second. I am also feeling the need to catch up. My hubby said he will be fine with 1 if we can't have another and I don't wanna sound ungrateful but I don't know if I will feel complete without at least one more.
ReplyDeleteSend me your email, we need to talk lol
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