Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Our Own Language

First off I want to say THANK YOU for all your kind words. The amazingness (don't think that is a word) of this community that I have found continues to surprise me. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I have noticed something over the last couple of days, basically ever since I got the good news; we infertiles speak a language that most of the people in our lives don't understand. We are like our own secret club that most people don't want to be a part of but if you are one of the "lucky" ones, well welcome aboard.

In this club, we speak our own language of cycle days, medicines, treatment paths, symptoms, and general frustration with the world. We can mention that we had EWCM and others know exactly what is going on. We talk about a low progesterone number and no one looks at you weird. You mention that your first beta was good, the second was excellent and now the third and non IF people are confused, why are you taking so many blood tests?  When we mention the medication we are taking some look at us like, "oh so you are going to have like 6 kids at a time now?" When we get upset people tend to walk away instead of being there for us. Then should we ever bring up the money we have all spent trying to start a family, the looks are almost too much to bear. But here, here in our secret club there is no judgement, there are only words of encouragement, never ending support, and people who understand. The one part of this club that is different from others is that once you are a member, you will always be a member. We all want the same thing, happiness and for the vast majority of us that is our own baby, for some it is finding peace knowing that they will never get that. Yet, no matter how we find our happiness, we are always there for the other members rooting them on, offering consoling words, or just simply letting each other know we are there for them.

In all honesty, you ladies were one of the first people I wanted to tell (obviously besides our parents)! I knew you would all get it, you knew the struggles, you have lived the struggles and that made your kind words mean all the more to me.

So while I never wanted to be a part of this club, I am so very grateful for all that it has taught me. I'm grateful for everything I have learned about myself, about Matt and I's marriage and about life's ups and downs. I am grateful for the bloggy friends I have =). Most importantly I am so grateful that I have become more grateful of the little things in my life. I also don't think I could use the word grateful one more time!

And just quick update- 2nd Beta came in at 511, had my 3rd one this morning so I probably won't get results until later tonight or tomorrow morning. We also set my first u/s appointment for June 4th eeekkk!!!

Keeping my fingers crossed out there for you guys still waiting test and a big yippee to those who are getting their BFP or who are starting on their next path!

12 comments:

  1. I absolutely loved your post today. You hit the nail on the head. Our club is very special and once a member, always one.

    So glad your numbers are rising and looking great! Come on June 4th.

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    1. Thank you, it was something that I had noticed talking to other non IF'ers.

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  2. SO awesome! I just HAD to send you a message this morning...just to check to make sure your second beta was excellent. (Not that I could have done anything about it if it wasn't.)I can't imagine how nerve-racking getting over the hurdles at the beginning is. I just couldn't stop thinking about you. I NEEDED to know :) Yep, I'm nuts! And an u/s date! WOOHOO!
    XO

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    1. You crack me up! Thanks for thinking about me

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  3. I just love this post!! New follower here...I am a bit late but here is my big CONGRATS to you!! will be following your baby journey :)

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    1. Thank you! I am excited to be following your journey as well.

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  4. Girl I am so damn happy for you! It gives me hope to see all these IF'ers popping up pregnant. I am excited to follow your journey to becoming a MOMMY!!!! You better keep blogging! :)

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    1. Aww thanks! Don't worry I couldn't abandon you guys now!!

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  5. I am beyond happy for you! I know you will be an amazing mom because you had to work so hard to become one. People in our club really understand the value of becoming a parent which is why I'm always overjoyed when I hear about an infertile's success. :)

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    1. Thank you so much, like I said your guys' kind words mean the world to me.

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