Wednesday, February 25, 2015

I Was Then I Wasn't

I've been a bit quiet over here.

I was pregnant and now I'm not.

I was in complete shock when I took the pregnancy test on February 5th and it was a strong positive. I knew I had ovulated but I thought we had missed the window. Apparently not and we were ecstatic. Ecstatic because this pregnancy happened with no help, it happened like it was supposed to. It happened like it does for non infertiles.

I called my ob because I wanted the confirmation of a blood test like I had with Reagan. I knew I probably wouldn't get a 2 or 3 but there was something about having that confirmation. That definitive answer. I had my blood test on February 6th. I got the call that afternoon with a number of 674. Such a high number and I again was overjoyed.

The nausea and exhaustion was there. The all day nausea. The wanting to take a nap in the middle of the day, as soon as I got home from work and going to bed after I put Reagan to bed. I forgot just how tired you are during the first trimester.

And then I tried out those Clear Blue tests. The ones that tell you how far along you are. The first one I did say 2-3 weeks. It made sense. So I went with it. And I took another and it said the same thing. Still thought it made sense. So then because I was addicted I bought another box. This time it again said 2-3 weeks. I began to worry because it shouldn't say that anymore. It should have said 3+. But I still had nausea, I was bloated, I was exhausted so that test must be wrong.

So just to reassure my paranoid self, I was able to secure an ultrasound earlier than normal with my ob. It was scheduled for February 26th with my initial appointment the following day.

To be continued...


  1. Sending you my love. You've been in my thoughts.

  2. I am so, so sorry to hear this. I know there is nothing anyone can say to take all the pain and emotions away. And, truthfully, I don't really know what to say. Please know that I am praying for you and your family. May you feel a peace that surpasses all understanding.