A Leap of Faith

So here it is, the big news and the HUGE leap of faith Matt and I are embarking on, drum roll please, Matt quit his job to be a full time farmer and a mechanic on his own. We have partnered with a family friend and formed a repair shop to do lawn mowers, Ag equipment and everything in between. Now I would say the goal in 3-5 years was for Matt to stay home but the repair shop is something kind of new and by that I mean in the past 3 months or so. So here we are embarking on a new journey and I'm over the scared part. Now I'm excited for the possibilities that this will bring us.

Thank you Pinterest

On another exciting note I got the statements from my insurance company regarding all the blood work and the visit to Dr. S's office and things were covered! Almost $600 worth of tests and the office visit, completely covered!!!!! That is a huge relief to not have to worry about those bills because I'm positive they all won't be like this. I will take what I can get though.

We are going on a double date tonight with some friends for dinner and bowling, something we haven't done in awhile and I'm excited!

This is a story all about ME!

Laura over at The Adventures of an Infertile Myrtle did this and said whoever read it was tagged and since I am an avid reader I decided to do this as well.

Here are the rules: 
1 - Post the rules
2 - Post 12 things about yourself
3 - Answer the 12 questions from the person who tagged you.
4 - Create 12 new questions for the people you tag. 
5 - Tag 12 people and link them to your post.
6 - Let them know that you tagged them.

My 12 new questions are:
1. Did you go to college and are you using your degree?
I did go to college, I attended The Ohio State University and earned a BS in Animal Sciences with a minor in Farm Management and I also have my MBA from Tiffin University. I kind of use my degrees since I work in the agriculture field and I have a few customers that I talk cattle with and that makes me smile =)

2. Have you always known you wanted childen?
Always, never was a doubt and I knew I wanted a house full

3. What is an album or song that had an impact on your life?
Wow this is a toughy, When You Say Nothing At All- Keith Whitley this was Matt and I's wedding song and always holds a special place in my heart as well as My Little Girl-Tim McGraw but I swear I listen to other genres besides country.

4. What is your dream car?
Mustang- with all the bells and whistles

5. What's one thing about IF you never thought you'd have to do/ face/ choose?
First off I never thought I would have to face IF but other than that I figured a few simple pills would work never thought I would have to face a specialist.

6. What were your wedding colors?
Chocolate and Ivory

7. What's your favorite TV show?
Another toughy, I'm a MTV junkie The Real World, Jersey Shore etc etc but Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, Little House on the Praire and anything on Food Network are shows that I will always watch.

8. Tell us something funny about yourself.
When I was little like 3 or 4 I wanted to go out to see the cows (where I wasn't supposed to be) and got stuck in the manure, like couldn't move with cows all around me. Yup my mom was super proud of me.

9.  Do most people in your life know about your infertility?  Do you talk openly about it?
My mom, a few of her friends, my two BFF's, a few people at work and all my inlaws know is that there are some issues they don't know the extent of thing.

10. What is one thing you wished the world knew about IF?
That it isn't a taboo subject and it is more common than people realize.

11. What color are your eyes?
Big and Blue

12. What is your favorite time of year?
It is a toss up between fall and spring. I love spring because everything is new, the smell of freshly turned dirt, gorgeous days and cool evenings and when it comes to fall I love the scenery, corn and soybean harvest but I would say that fall wins because of our anniversary and my birthday.

My new questions
1. What was your first vehicle
2. How did you meet your significant other
3. If you could take a vacation anywhere, where would you go?
4. Any Pets?
5. Your favorite color
6. Guiltiest pleasure
7. Favorite Childhood Toy
8. Favorite place to shop
9. How did you come up with your blog name?
10. What made you decide to blog
11. Were you involved in any clubs as a kid (ie 4-H, girl scouts etc)
12. Favorite cartoon charactor as kid?

Ok like Laura said a lot of you guys have done this and I like her idea of if you are reading this consider yourself tagged =)

Results and Some Rambling

So I called on Friday to see if they had gotten my results and to get a provera prescription. They did have my results and things look good, he is upping my dose of met which he said either he would up it or get rid of it. My anti-mullerian (spelling????) is satisfactory, glucose and insulin were good. I did not however get Matt's SA results and I completely forgot to ask. I was kind of nervous before and during the phone call, why I'm not sure, maybe I was afraid of not good results? Either way she didn' offer the results so that makes me think that they don't have them? Does anyone know how long it takes to get SA results? Either way I got my provera prescription and not knowing how my body would react to it I took my first on on Friday. So ten days of pills makes me done with them on Sunday the 26th. It wouldn't be bad if AF showed up on that Sunday or Monday but hoping she doesn't show on Wednesday or Thursday. However, should she decide to show up when I am in Vegas I will survive. I mean it wouldn't be her worst timing, that would be the day of my wedding. Yup that's right, no period of 6 months because of no insurance and not having BCP she decided to show up the morning of my wedding and last through most of my honeymoon. Whenever she shows I need to call Dr. S's office and schedule my HSG, order my medicine and get the ball rolling.

So last night Matt and I went to Wal-Mart to get some items after a very tiring day with my family. I won't go into much detail because I don't want to offend or gross someone out but my family butchers hogs once a year on President's Day weekend. It is a great time but very tiring. So anyways back to my story, Matt and I went into town and I had on yoga pants and a fleece. As I was walking into Wal-Mart I realized I was "that person" in Wal-Mart who can' bother to put on jeans to go in the store. Yup, that was me. Matt pointed out that I wasn't the only one and at least I wasn't wearing fuzzy pajama pants. He is just always my optimist.

On a final note, Matt and I are taking a HUGE leap of faith this week, more to come when it happens.

Still Waiting...

So I'm still waiting for the results from my blood work that I had done last week. We are also waiting for the results of Matt's SA from a week ago. I think the worst part during this wait is knowing that once I get the results we get to start on this journey, a journey to find some answers and hopefully bring us a baby. I am not a patient person, (ask Matt he will agree 100%), and to not be calling the doctor yesterday and today is a pretty good for me. However, tomorrow if AF doesn't show up, which I'm thinking she won't cause that is how my body rolls, I am going to call and get a prescription for provera so we can get the ball rolling. I've never taken provera and I am kind of nervous because I already feel like I am dying during AF, I'm scared to see what provera will do to me. But hey what doesn't kill us makes us stronger right?

When it comes to the weight loss, I made a goal to refocus and it paid off, because I broke through the mini plateau I had going on. Not sure what made me lose focus, some changes at work (all good though), Matt's work and I guess life in general.  Those shouldn't be reasons or excuses because they are always there. I need to not let those things keep me from being focused on my goals.

Happy Valentines day everyone, I'm not a big fan of the day just because I feel that it has gotten to commercialized maybe is the word I'm looking for. I would rather Matt show up on some random day with flowers just because, not on a day when he feels like he HAS to buy them. But for those who love this day, I hope you got to spend it with your valentine and mine is sleeping on the couch. Yup we are old and married.

So this post was kind of all over the place and I'm sorry for that, thats how my brain gets sometimes when I'm trying not to think about things. I think Laura called it a brain dump, yea this was definetly a brain dump.

A Trip to Columbus to Get Some Answers

So today was the day, the day that I was hoping to get some answers to my crazy, wacky, unpredictable body from an RE.  So I left work and trekked my way down to Columbus, GPS set to take me to some answers.  From what I read on the website for the clinic, the initial meeting was going to be more of a consultation which it was.  I was led back to Dr. S's (which is short for super amazing awesome Dr.) office where I didn't wait but a minute (which is pretty awesome).  He introduced himself, asked about me and what I wanted to happen and my history, family and Matt's family. One of the things that I loved was that it was low key, I felt no pressure whatsoever. So after all the formalities, he told me that he thinks that I may not have PCOS (umm ok?) but he would want to see some more tests, but based on the tests I already had done, I don't have typical PCOS results. What he does think is that the trigger in my brain (I can't think of the long name that he gave it, I know I'm a horrible person for not writing things down!) is underdeveloped. That means that when it receives a signal it doesn't know what to do or the signal gets lost. That is why way back when I was 17 and having irregular cycles the answer was BCP. The BCP just stopped all activity in that area and voila, problem solved. Well now, I need the triggers to work in order to make my system work. He said the treatment is to trick my brain, make the signal work which would make the whole system work. We are going to take 150mg of clomid on days 3-7, then I will be having an ultrasound and then a trigger shot.  I was kind of shocked to see the clomid since I had been told that I didn't respond to the clomid but Dr. S said that my progesterone was higher at a 6 and while they would like it to be a 12 the 6 was promising so they are using the clomid again. Tomorrow I am having my fasting glucose test to see if I am even insulin resistant and if we continue on the metformin. Now, the met did help with some weight loss and the side effects weren't bad, hardly noticeable for the most part. I'm also having a pregnancy test just to make sure I am not preggo since I haven't had AF come visit yet. I am 99% sure I am not but I would rather be safe than sorry. If AF does not come within a week then I have to call and get a prescription for provera. I have never had to have provera to start AF and I am just hoping it doesn't make AF more unbearable than it already is.

So that my friends is how my appointment went. I have some reading material to read over the next couple of days and the nurse told me not to hesitate to call even with, what I may think is dumb question. I left there with finally an answer to why, why my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to do. As I read more of the information and process everything I will hopefully have some more information. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and well wishes!

Day trip to the Amish

 I LOVE the rolling hills, the corn shocks and the peacefulness

Best Cheese Ever! So many varieties and you can even watch them make the cheese.

Ahh the pretty rolling hills

The day trip was just what Matt and I needed to get away.  We went to the Kidron auction first and I could of stayed there all day.  We watched the unloading of the cattle and I think one of the coolest things is when the Amish back up their wagons with the cattle on them.  We went in and watched the auction for a bit which brought back memories from when I would go with my Dad.  We also went to a couple of bulk food stores and the amount of you can buy for so little money is just mind boggling.  I can't wait till we get to go down there, someday, and spend the money on new furniture, ahh a girl can dream can't she?

Update

So I went to the doctor today and Matt went with me which was sweet of him.  He was rather uncomfortable in the waiting room though and it made me giggle. The doctor said basically what I figured that I never ovulated and he said based on my super low progesterone level that I never even produced a dominant follicle.  Well thank you ovaries, you are just stellar and I'm so lucky to have you as part of my reproductive tract.  The next step is going to an RE and so down to Columbus we go on February 8th.  I'm assuming that this appointment will be more of a consultation and we can talk about my history and so on and so forth.  So I am excited and nervous for next Wednesday.

On to some other exciting news, I REACHED MY GOAL of  7lbs!!!!! Yay me!!! So my goal for February is 8lbs and I can't wait to beat that one too!  The insulin resistance diet seems to be working great and the best part is, it is so simple.  I have made a point to look at the labels on food and see how many carbs or how much protein is in the item.  This also leads to looking at calories and watching my intake.  The best part of this new lifestyle is that I don't have to banish anything from my diet, which leads to less cravings which leads to less binges.

On a completely unrelated note, Matt and I are taking a day trip tomorrow to Amish country.  It will be so nice to get away for the day, not think about a darn thing, eat good food, take some pictures and just enjoy time together. I do have a list from my parents of food to get at the Berlin Bulk Food Store, certain cheeses to get at Heinis (not sure if that is spelled right), and look at some amazing handmade furniture.  One of the best things to do down there is to get on the side roads and find the roadside stands, there you can find some awesome goodies.  Another reason we are going is to go to the auction and maybe buy some bottle feeder calves depending on price, how big, etc.  I will post some pictures tomorrow because the scenery down there is gorgeous. 

So here is to a new beginning with a new doctor and hoping and praying that we can figure out my amazing ovaries!