Don't Ignore...how IF will change you

So I have been thinking about what to write about NIAW and Resolves theme of Don't Ignore. I have read some great posts by some pretty amazing ladies and they all say things that resonate with me. Maybe that is why we are all so lucky to have each other on our crazy rollercoaster rides to becoming parents. Either way, I have come up with some things that really hit home with me.

Don't ignore and don't forget who you were before IF took over your life. Remember that carefree person, the person who knew that they wanted to be a mother but also knew that kids weren't in the picture for awhile. The one whose conversations with friends and family weren't about where they were in their cycle but about redecorating the house and other boring adult talk. The person who could have a drink when they had a bad day, who didn't have to wait till AF showed up to indulge. The one whose life wouldn't revolve around charts, medicine, shots, ultrasounds, doctors appointments, fighting with insurance, blood draws, do I really need to keep going?  While I can't deny that IF takes up a big portion of my life, it doesn't need to be my whole life, it SHOULDN'T be my whole life.

Don't ignore just how strong you have become. This journey isn't for the weak, maybe that is why each one of us was chosen to take this path, because God knows just how strong we all really are. It takes strength to come to the realization that children aren't going to come easy like they seem to come to other people we know. It takes strength to give up our privacy like we do with out Dr's, to bare it all time and time again or with our friends and family who know the ins and outs of our cycles. It takes so much strength to pick up the pieces after another failed cycle, to fake a smile when people ask when are you going to have kids. It takes a huge amount of strength to log into facebook and see a plethora of cute baby pictures, baby bumps and ultrasound and not punch the screen. Probably the hardest part, the part that takes the most strength is to not let anger, bitterness, and jealousy consume you. We all don't know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have (thank you pinterest for all the wonderful quotes you supply this quote junkie with).

Don't ignore the fact that this will change relationships. Some relationships can't handle the stress of IF and some become so much stronger. Some friendships will fall off to the side either because the friend is one of those fertile myrtles, doesn't feel like they have anything to say besides the well it will happen, or maybe they just weren't that great of a friend to begin with. Your relationship with your significant other will change. I have found that it has made Matt and I so much stronger. Sure we still struggle with certain things but I know that if we can survive IF we can handle anything else. IF will also give you the opportunity to create new relationships with people that you never thought you would have anything in common with. For instance, the lady who does my nails and owns the tanning salon, while she is in her late 30's we still have the connection of IF and she understands why I might be having a bad day or the side effects of medicine. Old schoolmates who you know but to have IF in common can bring you even closer. Sometimes it is an old friend who life just got in the way of your friendship but you meet up again and realize that IF is something you both can work through together. Then there are all my bloggy friends, the amazing woman that I won't get to meet in person but know that they are in my corner just as I am in theirs.

IF can take a lot away from us but there are good things too. While it is not easy ignore the bad because it is always there, the constant reminder that you don't have a child of your own; IF will make you stronger, makes your relationships stronger, show you who truly has your back and make you a fighter.
(I might add that I am horrible at conclusions, I hated writing them for every paper and they were always crummy)