6.59

The local bar in my hometown has wings on Wednesday night and sometimes after work we go there, have some drinks and talk about things work related or not. Last night I went with my boss, a few customers and our previous manager of the facility I work at. As we are eating dinner my phone rings and I see the number and recognize it immediately, the RE's office. Now for some reason I have yet to save the number into my contacts, not sure why, but I knew as soon as I saw the area code I knew it was them. In the back of my mind, I knew it wasn't going to be good news because I had my progesterone drawn on Tuesday. I did have a slight bit of hope that maybe they were calling to remind me to have another fasting glucose test to see if the Metformin is working because I need to get that done again. I let it go to voicemail because the bar doesn't have the best reception. I probably should have waited till I got in the car because the sweet nurse P told me that my progesterone was 6.59. Wow, awesome job body. Now she did say that I did ovulate because anything over a 2 they consider an ovulation but they would prefer it be 12 and above. I stayed a bit longer and probably looked like I was in a daze and finally had to leave. I call Matt, who mind you, was on a tractor working ground without a cab, but somehow through my tears he understood. The nurse P said that should I not be pregnant this cycle we need to switch medication and she mentioned Femara or skipping that and going straight to the injectables. She said she was going to put the information in the mail but did mention that the injectables would run about $1000 a month. So that led to even a bigger meltdown because while things are going good with Matt's new business and we are comfortable in our living situation, spending a $1000 a month for who knows how long would leave us quite strapped and that is obviously not something we want. I then proceeded to have another meltdown about how this isn't fair, how no one should have to spend this kind of money to have a baby. How this wasn't how I wanted things to go, etc, etc. I haven't had a good meltdown/cry about IF in a long time and it felt good to get it out to be honest. The end of this drawn out saga of a night, Matt, in his sweet husband way, tells me, well you could already be pregnant and this could all be for nothing so that is what we need to think about. If we have to do the injectables then I guess we take some time off and save. So if you would, please cross your fingers and say a prayer that I am pregnant this cycle and it won't come to having to spend thousands of dollars. I appreciate all of my blogger friends so very very very much because you all get it. It is hard to explain to people, even my mom and friends because they haven't been through it. So thank you for listening, all the advice, the hopes and the prayers.