Another Spin Around the Sun

This is a submission for PAIL Bloggers June Theme which focuses on looking back.

June 2012. What a whirlwind of a month. Matt and I were pregnant, we saw the test, had the betas and at the beginning of June saw our little peanut and heard the heartbeat. I remember lying on the table with tears in my eyes and Matt squeezing my hand as we looked at the screen. It was such an amazing sight and sound. After that appointment we said goodbye to Dr. S because we were moving on, back to my regular OB. It was sad to say goodbye because even though we had only spent 2 cycles with him he was the reason we were seeing and hearing that heartbeat. I was going to miss the nurses and their excitement for us. Don't get me wrong, I like my OB but to them I was just another pregnant lady, well until they saw my chart.

My favorite part of June was scheduling the appointment with my photographer to do a fun shoot announcing our pregnancy. L our photographer was so excited for us and loved the ideas I had.

My favorite picture and the way we told friends, family and of course facebook!

Looking back, I didn't know if we would be where we are today, with a little girl who is almost 6 months old. Who has started to have her own personality, is trying to crawl and growing up way to fast. When we started this journey in January of 2011 I had no idea that the things I know now existed. I knew people who had trouble conceiving but didn't know more than that. I didn't know about trigger shots, femera, HSG's, or heck what an RE could even do. The journey wasn't what I wanted but I think in a weird way it was what Matt and I needed to strengthen our marriage. I know so much more about myself and my body that I wouldn't take back.

While there are moments that I still look back at our journey, wondering how I made it through without falling apart, I prefer to look forward. I look forward to watching Reagan continue to grow and come into her own and what Matt and I's next venture is (actually more on that after tonight hopefully!!!).

Happy Happy Happy!

Seriously over joyed with some wonderful news that started Friday and has carried into today. A dear sweet friend (who my mom had in school, our moms are friends and her mom was the major mastermind behind so many of the decorations and such at my wedding) got her BFP on Friday. I know I've mentioned before that Laura is the reason that I blog. Her blog opened up the whole world of infertility to me. I thought I was alone in my struggle but her openness about her heartaches and hope allowed me to connect with her and so many other amazing ladies I have met along this journey. When I saw the picture, I was sitting at my desk trying to think of how to not let the tears spill down my face just in case a farmer should walk in and want to talk about the markets. Like I wouldn't have been able to focus on the markets anyways!!!

When I saw Laura's mom on Saturday she started tearing up just talking about it which made me tear up since I am such a sap these days! I am so overjoyed with this news. I cannot wait for your u/s on the 3rd. I can't wait to follow this pregnancy like you did with me always being there with sweet words when I needed to hear them.

Congrats dear friend!

24 Day Challenge-Checking In

So here I am, day 12 of the 24 day challenge, halfway there. The best part is being done with the cleanse and the nasty fiber drink. I would seriously chug this drink in the morning then chug 1-2 glasses of water after. I will admit that I wasn't perfect on the cleanse. The way I see it, life happens and circumstances are out of your control sometimes. Even on the days I didn't do the best I still only strayed maybe 15-20%. Plus, I felt like crap after eating crap which just proved a point that I don't need that stuff. I will say the hardest part was making sure I was eating enough. I was so full at times that I know I wasn't getting enough calories. Finally though, I think I have it figured out.

Some random things I have learned:

-I tried Almond Milk for the first time. It's okay. I still prefer a glass of dairy milk but I do have to watch how much I drink because it can give Reagan gas and that child does not need any help in that area =)

- My sleep has been so much more refreshing. I've even been going to bed later and still waking up at the same time and I'm not sleepy.

-PB2 is amazing, seriously

-I have a peanut butter addiction

-Washing your fruit is an absolute must! No more waxy grapes and strawberries going bad after a few days.

-Apples and peanut butter are amazing together

-Did I mention I love peanut butter?

-Quinoa is good, I made a burrito bowl to rival Chipotle with it and it was darn good.

I made a promise to avoid the scale and measurements until the challenge was over. I will say that some pants fit better as well as some shirts. Most importantly though, I feel better

24 Day Challenge

Here we go with my first ever 24 day challenge with Advocare. I started the challenge on Saturday that way it was the start of a month and my OCDness would be happy. My plan is slightly modified since I am still nursing. D (the friend from HS who is helping me out) made an awesome spread sheet for me so it is basically idiot proof which is exactly what this busy mama needs.

Also at her suggestion I took some before pictures. This is the one time I wish there was a full length mirror in my house but it is okay. I tried looking for a full length picture of myself and to no surprise at all I didn't find one.

I've said it before, I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I wish there was a magic pill to make it go away but there isn't. This challenge isn't going to be a cake walk. I'm sure there are going to be days when I want a diet coke, or that candy bar from the machine but it just ain't gonna happen.It is going to be a slow process, I didn't put the weight on in a day and I can't expect it to come off in a day.

What I'm really hoping to get out of this 24 day challenge is the motivation to keep going. I'm hoping I see some results and it helps pull me through the next hurdle.

The goods

I actually thought I should have done a duck face

Yup still look pregnant here

And I couldn't help but add a picture of this smiling through her hands cutie!

First Camping Trip, Mommy and Me, annnnddd Lactation Cookies Oh My!

Call us brave or dumb but we went camping over Memorial Day weekend. It was such a cold chilly weekend, not like I had hoped our first camping trip with Reagan would be. The amount of items to stock a camper for the first trip is a lot and it is expensive. Add a baby on top of that and whew the amount of stuff tripled.

I was nervous about her sleeping schedule. She has always been such a good sleeper and I don't want to jinx it! Well, I didn't have a darn thing to worry about, she kept her normal schedule. She was a tired girl when we got home on Monday though because she slept the whole way home and took a 3 hour nap in the afternoon.

Since it was so cold, Reagan only went on a short boat ride and didn't get to do any swimming =( but we did go on plenty of walks and I'm not sure who loved it more, Reagan or Zoe. I have so many pictures to upload off of my camera and do you think I remembered it, of course not.

I'm sure a lot of mom's would agree with me that there just aren't as many pictures of the kids and you as maybe just the kids or dad and kids because we are usually the ones behind the lens. A local photography that I follow on facebook (and who is actually going to be the photographer and my brothers wedding next year) offered a mini session called Mommy and Me. I jumped on it because I knew I would get some good pictures of Reagan and I. Boy was I right. Here are a few of my favorites!

 I am still pumping for Reagan but I can only get about a 5oz bottle a day. I've tried Moth.ers milk tea and other herbs but not really any luck. Drinking a beer after a pumping session does increase the next 2 but I'm just not a big beer drinker although Sum.mer Shan.dy is good as well as shock.top and ber.ry we.iss. On pin.terest one day I saw a recipe for lactation cookies. Cookies that could help my milk supply I think it is a complete win win! They used whole wheat flour (I got mine at the amish bulk food store, wayyy cheaper than any grocery), flax seed, and oats. It calls for brewers yeast but I have yet to find it. I was in the baking mood on Sunday and made a single batch which yielded about 2 1/2 dozen. OMG they are so good! Matt even ate them and loved them. I'm not sure if I truly am seeing an increase but in my head I think I am so hey whatever works.

Why You Won't Find a Full Length Mirror in My House

A few months ago I decided to add my blog to the PAIL blogroll. It was someplace to find some new blogs and maybe, just maybe get some new readers. Well, their monthly theme for May is body image.

Whew, talk about a subject that we all have opinion on and as sad as it sounds I'm sure I would be hard pressed to find a single female who wouldn't want to change something about her body. To me that is sad, so so sad. Yet, I am so guilty of it. There are days I think well, if I didn't have that back fat this shirt would look better, if I didn't have the belly these pants would look better, my ears are too big, my forehead to big (I honestly could keep going). I have always been overweight even though I would kill to have my HS body back because I thought I was fat then! I've always had poor body image but I know I need to change that, especially if I don't want Reagan to grow up this way.

Kudos to pin.terest

During my pregnancy I really didn't care about body image. I was carrying another person so who cares what I look like, was my attitude. After having Reagan I've slipped back into the I hate my body state of mind. Actually, I think it is worse, way worse.  Our diets have gotten worse because the day goes by so fast. I know that is a big excuse but it is true. The minute I get home from work I just want to hang out with Reagan not think about making supper! The weekends are so crammed full of places to go and cleaning to catch up on I don't think to make meals ahead for the week. I know it has to change, it NEEDS to change! I've decided to spend a little money on myself and do the advocare 24 day challenge. I will be doing a whole post on it so stay tuned! This is a way for me to focus on me that way Reagan will have a healthy and happy momma! Reagan, Zoe and I have started taking walks at night. Reagan loves walks, Zoe loves walks and it is a way for me to spend time with each and get a tired dog in the process. My goal is to get at least 3 times a week, small steps right!?

So it has been hard, it still is hard for me to find time to focus on me, my body image and how I am going to improve it but with the 24 day challenge I have a starting point.

Tis the Season

Nope not talking about Christmas, I'm talking about spring planting. The time of year that I become a farm widow, dinners get later and later, I'm not sure how there is dirt left in the field because I think my husband brought it all in on his clothes, time of year.

Don't get me wrong, I love spring like love love love it. The ability to open my windows, air out the house, get down and dirty with the cleaning, fresh cut grass, tractor rides and the smell of freshly tilled dirt. My allergies also come back with a vengeance and I think poor Reagan has inherited my allergies, poor baby.

This year is different in the fact that I not only turn into a farm widow but also a single parent. Matt is working later and Reagan is usually asleep by the time he comes in and isn't much help in the mornings because of the early start. Plus to top it off, he got poison ivy. He didn't realize he had it at first but now it is almost gone. This meant he couldn't even hold her if he did get done at a decent time. It was actually sad because he would walk by her and she would look up at him like please pick me up dad, don't you love me anymore. It was tough on him too because he usually does the last feeding duty and rocks her for a bit.

Thankfully, all the corn is in the ground and we only have about 100 acres of beans left and this whole single parent thing can stop for awhile. Having to do this on my own has made me appreciate just how much Matt does do to help me. I'd say I'm pretty darn blessed!

Speaking of being blessed, Mothers day was nice. I will say, whoever decided mothers day should be in May was obviously not married to a farmer. We went to dinner Saturday night with Matt's parents and had dinner Sunday night with mine. Since Matt was farming he we just did breakfast (by that I mean he went and got McDonald's) and then went to fields. Reagan and I went to church and to CVS (because they had formula on sale!) and back home to do laundry and that spring cleaning I talked about. Exciting right, but it doesn't matter.  I hope you all had an amazing mothers day whether you celebrated with your mom, or you got to celebrate holding your babies or those of you still waiting to hold your baby. My thoughts were with you all.