Tis the Season

Nope not talking about Christmas, I'm talking about spring planting. The time of year that I become a farm widow, dinners get later and later, I'm not sure how there is dirt left in the field because I think my husband brought it all in on his clothes, time of year.

Don't get me wrong, I love spring like love love love it. The ability to open my windows, air out the house, get down and dirty with the cleaning, fresh cut grass, tractor rides and the smell of freshly tilled dirt. My allergies also come back with a vengeance and I think poor Reagan has inherited my allergies, poor baby.

This year is different in the fact that I not only turn into a farm widow but also a single parent. Matt is working later and Reagan is usually asleep by the time he comes in and isn't much help in the mornings because of the early start. Plus to top it off, he got poison ivy. He didn't realize he had it at first but now it is almost gone. This meant he couldn't even hold her if he did get done at a decent time. It was actually sad because he would walk by her and she would look up at him like please pick me up dad, don't you love me anymore. It was tough on him too because he usually does the last feeding duty and rocks her for a bit.

Thankfully, all the corn is in the ground and we only have about 100 acres of beans left and this whole single parent thing can stop for awhile. Having to do this on my own has made me appreciate just how much Matt does do to help me. I'd say I'm pretty darn blessed!

Speaking of being blessed, Mothers day was nice. I will say, whoever decided mothers day should be in May was obviously not married to a farmer. We went to dinner Saturday night with Matt's parents and had dinner Sunday night with mine. Since Matt was farming he we just did breakfast (by that I mean he went and got McDonald's) and then went to fields. Reagan and I went to church and to CVS (because they had formula on sale!) and back home to do laundry and that spring cleaning I talked about. Exciting right, but it doesn't matter.  I hope you all had an amazing mothers day whether you celebrated with your mom, or you got to celebrate holding your babies or those of you still waiting to hold your baby. My thoughts were with you all.

4 Month Checkup

Friday was Reagan's 4 month checkup. I feel like I'm always saying woah time please slow down, she can't be 4 months old already!!

Measurements:
13lbs 1.5oz
25 inches long

She is in the 50th percentile for both of those. Actually right on the line for the 50th. So my baby girl is just average. The doctor did not seem to think that we needed to change anything because she is growing and is happy and healthy.

He did, however, still hear her heart murmur. It has not gotten worse but it hasn't gotten better like he expected. He recommended that we see a cardiologist just to ensure everything is fine. He truly believes that it will resolve itself but would like the second opinion. There is a cardiologist that comes from Toledo to the hospital and that is one he recommended. The earliest appointment isn't until August 6th. Dr. P (the pediatrician) said Reagan isn't showing signs of having a heart issue such as turning blue, feeding troubles or not growing which makes me feel better. She then had 3 shots, 1 oral and 2 shots which she took like a pro!

I mentioned feeding her cereal, which part of me doesn't want too because that means she is growing  up wayyy to fast but the other part says, whatever keeps her full and happy! Dr. P said not to start cereal till next month. She has had a few spoonfuls of cereal at the sitters (with my permission) and she loved it so I'm not worried about the transition.

All smiles at the doctors!

Looking at the cows with dad

Sitting on the gator, it was still a bit cool for a ride

Sleep

Sleep is one of those things that as soon as you don't get enough you can tell. They say that having a baby means goodbye to sleep. Which don't get me wrong I don't sleep nearly as long or as heavy as I used too. Fortunately, we have been so lucky, and I say lucky because I didn't really do anything I don't believe, to have a baby that sleeps through the night. She has been doing so since I went back to work.

One gets used to getting a full nights sleep. For the most part, I feel rested and ready to tackle the day. Today though, is not that day. Little miss woke up 3 times last night. Yes 3 times! All 3 times I woke up to screaming from her room. Which I may have forgot to add that we moved her from our room to her room and she has been sleeping in her crib for over a week with no issues. Talk about jumping out of bed. I half expected to find a mess, either wet or poop but nope just a baby not happy with life. I changed her and put her back down and I fell back asleep too. Not even a half an hour later the same scream but sweet Matt got up to check. Then came the third and I'm pretty sure I almost fell into the door tripping over the dog because my eyes just wouldn't open. 

When we finally woke her up she was all happy and smiling. At least one of us was smiling! So I applaud you mama's who do have to get up during the night because I am dragging today.

What a Difference a Year Makes

This week is NIAW, a week where we push to remind the world that infertility is real, it is a disease that affects more people than most would like to admit. It is also something that most people don't want to talk about, it is a very hush hush subject when quite frankly it shouldn't be.

I got to thinking about what a different place I was in last year at this time. I was in the beginning of my TWW, the second one with Dr. S, my 5th since starting treatments. We had been trying for a year with no success. I was scared, scared because Dr. S was only going to give us one more shot with femera before moving on to injectables and I knew that we would have to take a break due to money. Thankfully and luckily I finally saw the word Pregnant on the test and in January we welcomed our precious baby girl.  What a difference a year makes.


 

I Need to Rant!

Reagan's baptism is this weekend. We are so excited to have friends and family celebrate with us. The baptism will happen after mass then we are having a reception at a local eatery. It is nothing fancy by any means, I'm talking salad bar, pizza and cake. I opted to invite my aunts, uncles and cousins. Matt decided he did not want to do that. Granted I have a lot fewer than he does but it was his choice and I wasn't going to push it. We did invite his grandpa, at my urging. Matt finally agreed because he honestly thought his grandpa wouldn't come since his dad and grandpa don't speak. (That dates back to this event).

Well, Monday I received a phone call from Matt's aunt saying that he had received the invitation and was coming. She then asked if she could come with him. In order to keep the peace I said it was fine. Quite frankly, it is fine. I mean who really cares. I'm sure it is because she is a nosy Nelly but whatever we have nothing to hide. However, it infuriates my in-laws. Seriously, who cares!!!!! I am just glad that Matt's grandpa is coming. He is the only living grandparent that either of us have. I would give anything to have any or all of my grandparents still around and be able to come.

Now this brings me to my big rant. I have wanted a generations picture since Reagan was born. One with Reagan, Matt, his dad and his grandpa. I told Matt this and he said good luck. I also told my MIL last night that I wanted that picture and she said it probably won't happen but I could try by just putting Reagan in his arms and saying smile. Seriously! You can't stand beside each other for 5 minutes so that Reagan can have this, so I can have this? To me it is selfish, petty and childish. Grrrr!!!!

Hopefully this rant is for nothing and there is no fighting when I want to have this picture taken and everyone acts like adults. Fingers crossed.

3 Month Pictures

Reagan's 3 month pictures are done! Once again they are awesome and I'm not sure how I am going to limit myself and not spend a ton of money. To view the whole set:
1. Go to www.photographybyluann.com
2. Click on view proofs
3. Click on her set and you have to enter your email in order to see them.

Here a preview of one!

Then today I get this picture from the sitter, please stop growing up so fast little girl!

Choices Choices Choices

First I want to apologize for being MIA, life has been crazy and I was studying for the series #3 test which to rub salt in the wound from the first fail I failed again by 2 points, grrr!!!!

There are times when I feel like we are overwhelmed with choices these days. Then you start talking baby related and BOOM talk about a plethora (one of my favorite words) of choices we have to make. It could seriously drive someone crazy, especially if you are person who doesn't have their own strong opinion, constantly second guess yourself (guilty!), or does their research.

Choice #1- Breast or formula
Now we all know breast is best, best for the baby and best for the mom as well. I chose to breast feed knowing full well that if it didn't work or I wasn't producing enough I would supplement with formula. Yet does it make a person a bad mom if they don't breast feed? What if it is just too hard, they have latch issues, there is an allergy etc etc. I've seen some places (like online forums and such) where woman who choose not to breastfeed are attacked for their choice. Let me repeat that last line, their choice! I think we live in a society where people find it okay to criticize someone and their decision just because they may not agree with them. I tend to think I am a very agreeable person but I do have my own opinions and feel that we are all entitled to them and that we won't always agree but agreeing to disagree is just fine. So back to my point about the first choice, while I do think breast is best however you can keep your baby happy, healthy, full and content should be the main objective right?

Choice #2- Working mom or stay at home mom
Woh talk about a sensitive area for a lot of people. I truly truly loved being home with Reagan on my maternity leave. That being said, I was ready to go back to work. I was ready to be around adults all day, have adult conversations and have a routine. I'm not saying that SAHM's don't have a routine I'm saying I needed a 5 day a week wake up at 5:15 out the door by 7:20 type of routine. However, because I choose to work does not mean that I love my child less. It means that I want to provide the absolute best for her and in order to do that I have to work.

Choice #3-Vaccines
To vaccinate, to not vaccinate, to do the modified schedule, the regular schedule whew did I cover them all? We have opted to vaccinate and do the regular schedule. While I do feel guilty about Reagan getting so many shots at a time, the time required to take her to do doctor for the modified schedule does not work. This topic can spark off some pretty hot debates. I'm always just curious for peoples reasoning for the choice they make and I will respect their opinion as long as they respect mine.

I realize this is just a bunch of ramblings but these are some of the things that I never thought of before getting pregnant.  Would any of you be willing to share some of the choices you have had to make whether it was seeking treatments, during pregancy or after the bundle of joy arrived?

Now for a quick update. We had her 3 months pictures last week already!! I will show a sneak peak.