Woh Baby!

So I had my 38 week appointment today, No double duty this week due to the holidays but that is fine with me. Today, in stead of a NST we got to have an ultrasound. This is obviously the very last one before Peanut gets here. Everything looked great with her, she is head down and ready to rock and roll. However, when they gave us her weight measurement is measuring at 8lbs 13oz. Umm yea hello big healthy baby right! My plan the entire time was to have her vaginally which still could happen but this was the first time the Dr. mentioned C-section. Obviously, if my or her health/safety were at risk it would be a no brainer. However, I would still like to try vaginal first. I will be 39 weeks next week and I go back on Wednesday so just more waiting.

Takin Bets

First off, I hope all of you had an amazing Christmas day spent with family and however you spend it. Mine was wonderful and Matt spoiled me like he always does =) Family time was great and very relaxed just what this lady needed.

Now onto the bet! Actually there is no bet but with winter storm hitting us with a good douse of snow I was joking that Peanut was going to make her appearance during the storm. So, while there is no actual bet I am 38 weeks and she could come at any time so why not show up during a snow storm! This is really not that bad, they say it will be blizzard conditions but it is winter so I see no reason to get all excited. I would like to make a trip to the Kroger's and see how depleted the bread and milk areas are. This is the worst snow we have had in 2 years and my inner child is excited to see the snow. My mom has called twice to check on me at work to make sure I haven't left and to see how I have felt. I have felt ok, just the bowling ball between my legs and pressure. I have had some lower back pain but nothing that sticks around.

Don't worry though, you all will be kept in the loop!

37 Weeks

So to be able to say that I am 37 weeks today just seems crazy to me. Peanut could literally come any day now and it would be okay. Obviously, I would like her to stay put till at least 39 weeks but she will do what she wants to do. Things are getting done just not at the pace I would prefer. I still have wall decorations for the nursery I want to hang, the room still needs swept and shampooed and there are more clothes to wash and find a place for. I don't know if we have everything we need and I'm sure we don't but it will all be okay I keep telling myself.

I have made a revised checklist of things that need to get done in the next 2 weeks. Included in that list is
1. Clean my car inside and out
2. Install car seat in my car
3. Put together Pack n Play and have that ready to go
4. Finish nursery
5. Finish packing my bag, Matt's items and baby items

This seems manageable to me. Also cleaning the house is always a part of that list. I feel like my house will never be clean enough though crazy yes I know.

We have our last prenatal class Thursday. It is all about baby care and breastfeeding. The hospital also has a lactation consultant that I can use should I need more assistance after which makes me feel better. I also have a pediatrician for her and I believe we have found a babysitter for when I go back to work.

I wasn't sure if I was going to say anything about the shooting because I have chose not to watch much of the news because I get way to emotional. I will say that my heart breaks for each and everyone of those parents and family members. Having a mom as a teacher this scenario did hit a little closer to home than I would have liked. Even in all this tragedy I don't think it is the time to make political statements about gun control. My honest opinion is no matter how hard you make it to get something, if someone really wants it they will find a way to get it.

Okay back to happy things. I did have another NST yesterday and she of course didn't want to cooperate at first but after some cold water she woke up and started moving and grooving. My blood pressure was up somewhat but he didn't seem concerned. I have another NST Friday and I will get checked too and then next week on Thursday we have an u/s to check her size. Matt went with me yesterday and he thought it was pretty cool getting to hear her moving around and hearing the kicks.

I hope you all have your Christmas shopping done! I am almost done except for a few small things and wrapping a lot of gifts! So if anyone wants to come help me wrap I would be eternally grateful!

The Good Ole Boys Club

In the agricultural community there is a big age gap. Which shouldn't be that big of a surprise given just how old the industry is. Since, there is this age gap there also tends to be a gender gap as well. This also should not come as a surprise to anyone. I have been involved with this industry my entire life and I have seen it all time and time again. Over time I have also realized that the only way it will change is as the older generation moves on and more and more young ones come in, especially women.

So what all that rambling is about is that basically because I am not a member of the good ole boys club I didn't get the promotion that I wanted. I looked right at my boss and told him that it sucked. Basically they want me to take over Dawn's (the boss who is leaving) responsibilities but give the title to C (another grain buyer who also happens to be the General Manager's pet). So needless to say I was beyond ticked on Friday and had a meltdown when I got home. Matt being Matt though just looked me square in the eye and said it will be fine. You have the support of a lot of the customers, Dawn will push her customers towards you and basically show them that you don't give a damn about a title. These are reasons why I love him! Office politics suck basically!

So I had all weekend to think about it and he was right. My #1 priority is the customer and retaining customers and that is what I will do. I will also keep repeating to myself that everyone retires eventually and things will change. They did say that I will be getting a company cell phone and a laptop so that I can be available and any time I work will just mean more time off with her.

Most importantly though, I have a little girl arriving in a few weeks and my life will change forever and for that I am eternally grateful.

Here, There and Everywhere

Have you ever had one of those weeks, starts off pretty normal and you are just ready for the weekend to get here because the to do list is a mile long? Yea, that is how my week started out but got turned upside down pretty darn quick on Wednesday.

First, I will start with the good of the week. My NST was very good, Peanut was very active without the aide of music or juice. I say it was the 5 Guys I had for lunch (yum yum!). My blood pressure was the lowest it has been in 3 weeks. I was also told I was doing awesome in the weight gain department. Next week is 36 weeks and the Dr. will start checking me. EEEKKK that just seems crazy!! The only real thing I want to get done yet in the nursery is install a ceiling fan, pick out crib bedding and vacuum and shampoo the carpet. I promise I will get pictures up soon.

Now onto the okay. We had our first prenatal class last night. I was actually a tad nervous because for starters I felt like we would be the oldest ones in there (we weren't). I was also somewhat nervous that it would be cancelled for whatever reason, (it wasn't). There were a total of 4 couples and we seemed to be all about the same age. There was one couple who was adopting and the birth mom and the birth mom's mom were all together. Not going to lie, the beginning was boring because we talked about nutrition, positions to sleep in, how to get in and out of a vehicle etc. Then came the breathing exercises. They seemed cheesy but I'm sure I won't be saying that when I actually need them. The second part though was when they talked about the stages of labor. First off, the women they used were cracking me up. It was hard not to laugh but as soon as class was over and we were on our way to dinner I thought I was going to pee my pants from laughing. Next week is our tour of the hospital and the third week is breastfeeding and baby care. Was it what I thought, not really but I like how it is super casual. I am excited for the tour because the hospital is brand new like a year or two old and I hear the rooms are amazing! Another perk of being from a small town, there usually aren't too many patients in the ob department so hopefully it won't be chaotic.

Now onto the bad. My boss is leaving at the end of the year. She is more than a boss though, she has been a mentor to me the last 3 years I have been at my job. When they hired me, I had zero experience in the grain industry but they took a chance on me anyways. She also has become a friend. She listened to my stories about my crazy family, even crazier in laws, Matt and being a farm wife and she was so supportive and understanding when it came to IF. She never once made a big deal about me needing off for appointments and was super understanding when my hormones were crazy. So, the tears flowed but I am happy for her too. She is taking on a position that she feels will challenge her. She will still be in the grain industry and she will still be coming to Ohio at times. Like Matt said, we will still talk, there is always facebook and texting and he is right. A big part of me know that it won't be the same, but I am trying to look at the positives. I knew this day would come eventually but I just wasn't expecting it so soon. The timing also sucks basically because she is done at the end of the year and I am too. I wish I was going to be here for that transition period or that it was happening after I was back but that is just how the cookie crumbles. Her leaving also opens up a big opportunity for advancement for me which I knew would only come if she left or took a different position. Me being me though, I'm just afraid of failing which both Matt and she has said that I won't. That this is the push I need to stand on my own two feet and step out of her shadow. I have requested a meeting with my other boss to let him know my thoughts and even though I will be on maternity leave when I come back I want the position and just some things that I will need from him. That was a scary email to send so hopefully we can meet up and figure some things out.

But hey today is Friday and I do have a busy weekend ahead of me! Presents to wrap, a tree to put up, baking cookies and packing my hospital bag. We also need to finish up Christmas shopping so I'm hoping to get that done on Saturday evening. Kind of makes me tired just thinking about all of it!

Feelin the Love

The week before Thanksgiving my mom threw me and our Peanut a shower. It was so amazing. Ruth, (Laura from The Adventures of an Infertile Myrtle's mom) and her craftiness were over the top amazing! I'm not kidding when I say the craftiness oozes from this woman. She was also the mastermind behind a lot of my wedding items such as invitations and table decor. We did go with a cowgirl theme (of course right!) but it was so tastefully done.

These were a peanut butter lovers dream come true!

Nutter Butter cow which gave Ruth fits because she couldn't get the ears placed just right.

She is seriously the queen of cake pops.

We had the shower at mom's church and it was the perfect amount of pink.

These dear baby's were at everyone's seat along with the favor of a pumpkin spice sugar hand scrub. The things that people wrote made me laugh and cry when I finally sat down to read them all. A lot said that they hope she grows up to be a strong independent woman, that she love her family, respect her elders and so on. They are all in a little book and I can't wait till the day I can explain who all the people are that wrote to her.

All in all it was a wonderful afternoon and showed me just how loved and excited people are for this little girl to get here!

I had another NST today and of course she was not as active in the beginning but the nurse gave me some orange juice and I played some music to her off of my phone and she perked right up. These will be a weekly thing due to my blood pressure till she gets here. My blood pressure was steady again this week and I was down 3lbs. My goal by next week is to have the nursery mostly set up and enough room in my front room for the Christmas tree!

Just a Quickie

First off I hope all of you have an amazing Thanksgiving. I know I will because Matt and I have so very much to be thankful for!

I will get a post about my awesome shower and you will see firsthand just how the craftiness oozes from Laura's mom. However, I am at work and all the pictures are at home so hopefully this weekend.

Anywho, I had my NST (non stress test) yesterday. I will say the best part was sitting there for 30-40 minutes and listening to her heartbeat. She wasn't as active as they would have liked to see in the beginning but towards the end she woke up and started moving. Everything looked good from then on. My blood pressure was good so no increase in meds, YAY!!!! I go back on Wednesday for another one.

Finally, a big congratulations to Amanda @ Growing Griswolds who got an awesome beta number!!!

31 weeks

So yesterday on election day, we had our 3d ultrasound. I will be creating a tab soon I promise with some u/s pictures and a belly picture but in my hurry to leave this morning I walked off and forgot them. Anyways back to the appointment.

Matt met me at the doctor's fresh out of the combine so he had to be dusted off before we went in. This is actually very typical these days but I still love him! The tech asked if we knew what we were having and I said well last time you said it was a girl so she said she would verify for us. All Matt could say was well I still hope it is a girl or we will have to change some things!

Peanut was just chilling but the way the cord was we didn't get the clearest picture of her face but were still able to see it. I say she has Matt's nose which I make fun of (in his defense he makes fun of my ears). Peanut also let us know that she is a girl with her legs up in the air. Fluids and everything else was normal. Heartbeat was strong at 146. I will never get tired of hearing the heartbeat simple as it may be. She is measuring just over 4lbs. The doctor said she is measuring the weight of a baby whose due date would be the 28th of December but they are leaving my due date on January 7th.

Now the not so good news... my blood pressure was up again but the readings I have been doing at home have been normal so I am to keep monitoring it and if I notice an increase they will change my medicine. Because of that they want to do a stress test the next time I go which is the week of Thanksgiving. I will also have one the following week. Also my blood count is on the low side which means Peanut is stealing mine to help her grow. I wish she would steal some fat too but she is growing and that is all that matters. So I have to add an iron supplement to my routine. He was concerned but said it happens to a lot of woman. I am trying not to scare myself and to stay calm and not think about it just do what he says. We shall see if that works. To end on a positive note though, I did pass my glucose test! Diabetes runs in my family and with my weight I was at a higher risk but that is one thing I can check off!!

Regardless of How You are Voting...

I do hope you are voting on Tuesday. Quite frankly I am ready for the election to be over. A friend just posted this and if you are lucky enough to live in a swing state you will be able to relate and if you don't live in a swing state then you are just lucky. The clip is from the Jon Stewart show and cracked me up!!

Swing State Hell

Liebster Award!

The Lovely Alexis at Our Journey Through This Lovely Life nominated me for the Liebster Award!

This award is given to blogs with less than 200 followers. She gave me some questions to answer so here goes!

1. Do you remember your Dreams?

Here lately I have been and boy have they been vivid!

 

2. What was the last thing you bought?

 I bought a new desk for the spare room to put the computer and printer on. Exciting I know.

 

3. Is the glass half empty or half full?

I prefer to think the glass if half full but some days it is half empty. 

4. What's under your bed?

I'm sure a lot of dust bunnies, a dog bone or 2 and occasionally Chunky the cat goes under there.

5. Have you ever won the lottery?

Besides the occasional $5 or so on a scratch off nope never6.  Are you a morning person or a night owl?

 It depends on the season. Summer for sure a night owl, winter a morning person.

7. text or phone call?

Honestly depends on the person or situation. I'm on the phone a lot at work so text messages are some times easier

8. Do you sing in the shower?

 Doesn't everyone?

9. If you could change something about your home with out

 worrying about expense or mess what would it be?

 Gosh this is hard! I think though I would get rid of all the paneling and then be able to open up the house more. I could go on and on though on this question.

10. Do you blog for yourself or for your followers?

 It started out for me and a large part of it still is but it has allowed me to meet some awesome ladies.

11. Why did you start blogging?

A dear friend Laura @ The Adventures of an Infertile Myrtle

 showed me that it is ok to share your story and if nothing else be a safe place to spill your emotions because sometimes my friends and dear sweet husband can't take any more.

Now onto the new questions

1. What is that one movie, no matter how many times you have seen it when you catch it on tv you sit and watch?
2. Were you a band geek? If so what instrument(s) did you play?
3. What did you want to be when you grew up?
4. Are you an animal lover? 
5. Dream Car?
6. Biggest guilty pleasure?
7. If money wasn't an issue, what would be your dream vacation?
8. Favorite clothing store?
9. Favorite Disney movie?
10. Plain or Peanut M & M's 
11. What have you learned the most about yourself on your IF journey?      

The Nominees

Lucky @ Lucky As Sunshine

Faith @Faith Makes Things Possible Not Easy

Jen @ My Bum Ovaries 

Lilly @ Our Adventure through Infertility 

OSU GAME & 28 Week Appointment

 First off let me just say it was a good thing the Dr. wasn't going to check my blood pressure after that Ohio State game! Good grief talk about a game lasting to the very last seconds!! If you don't know, the Buckeyes won in OT 29-22 making us 8-0! It was a lot and I mean a lot of walking for this girl but it was good for me and worth it!

The title says it all. The guys pushing this around got a heck of a workout!

Brutus!!

Once upon a time I wanted to be him...then I realized I would never be that flexible

The only way my child is allowed to be a band geek (sorry former band geeks but I was one too!)

Script Ohio upside down- good thing our state is a small word!

Matt and I, not a good belly shot because I had lots of layers on

Monday was my 28 week appointment but it was almost a week behind because Tuesday I was 29 weeks. Holy cow technically only 11 more weeks!!! EEEEKKKKKK but hey it will be alright. I did make a list that Matt laughed at but it did make me feel better. Plus I've already crossed some items off it.I haven't gotten my glucose test results yet so keeping my fingers crossed I passed. Blood pressure was 134/68 and weight was the same.

I went to a baby shower of a high school friends on Sunday. Her and her husband had been trying for 5+ years and are going to welcome their miracle in a few short weeks and I couldn't be more excited for them. The food was amazing and her MIL is very talented because there were so many crocheted and knitted items around for this baby. He or she will certainly be loved. Funny thing too is that her husband went to school with Matt and wayyyy back in HS he was part of the crowd that brought Matt around before we started dating.

We go back to the Dr. on November 6th and we have our 3d ultrasound plus I start going every 2 weeks!!

Here's My Number So Call Me Crazy

1. I am not a Carly Rae Jepsen fan however I cannot seem to get from the song

Ok onto the real post and why you should call me crazy because that is where I feel like I am headed; Crazyville. Harvest is full go and this year working longer hours and 7+ days in a row is killing me.  I understand it is taking its toll because I have Peanut growing inside of me but I was not expecting to be this exhausted. I did have this weekend off because my boss stayed and worked which was nice.  I was able to get some cleaning done and laundry put away. Matt does a great job helping around the house such as doing the laundry so all I have to do is put it away, doing dishes, emptying and loading the dishwasher and taking out the trash. Those are all huge things that make the daily cleaning not pile up. I felt like a got a good cleaning done in the bathroom, kitchen and hallways. My goal before Peanut gets here is to either shampoo the rugs myself or just hire it out. I keep going back and forth because of the money and all the work moving furniture and such. I know I am probably wayyyy over thinking this which is the main reason I need a one way ticket to crazyville. 

Another reason, almost having a breakdown in Babies R Us because I was so overwhelmed. Now I have done research upon research about what is good to put on a registry, what can wait what you won't ever use etc etc. Well, when I got there everything I had read, prepared went right out the window. The 2 aisles of car seats alone was daunting. Not to mention the rows of bottles, strollers, swings I could go on and on. Don't get me wrong I was super excited to start my registry and I thought I was prepared but once again I was overthinking it. It probably didn't help that I was there by myself because Matt has been working very hard at getting the building up so we can move onto other things such as finishing the kitchen, setting up the spare room, putting a ceiling fan/light in the nursery and just getting everything in tip top shape.

So basically I just feel overwhelmed about getting everything done and done to the way I want it. Bird talked about this in her post too and I should just make a list because no matter how big it is crossing things off should in theory make me feel better. Right?

On another note and in my opinion a super exciting one. This is where Matt and I will be on Saturday! I will of course have pictures from this. It is Matt's first OSU game and I am so excited!!!!

My life in pictures

The big exciting (that is a big fat lie because lately my life is very boring but boring in a good way) life that I lead in picture format.

After a long Saturday at work Matt built a fire and this was the sunset so peaceful and pretty

After the sunset came the harvest moon

So many sweets at work these days. I also think I deserve a medal for driving to work with these sitting beside me and not eating a single one!

Up she goes, when trucks can't dump themselves we have to lift them up. Most elevators don't do this anymore because of the liability (can't imagine) but we still do.

Soybeans

That is pretty much it. Nothing exciting and new. Peanut has been very active lately which is just fine with me =). The painters are coming this weekend to do the first room so I will show pictures as soon as it gets done. I have also been busy researching registry items. I think we are going to go with BabiesRus and Wal-Mart. There just aren't many stores around that have baby items and that it is easy for people to get to. If it rains like it is supposed to Matt and I are going to take a trip and get started.

I also saw this pin today on pin.terest and it made me think of so many of you ladies and all of us in the IF community.

 

Happy Tuesday!

25 Weeks

My Dr. appointment was rescheduled for yesterday. By the time I talked to someone I was just over it so being mad didn't seem worth it. They apologized like 3 times and the Dr. apologized as well, whatever I guess.

Yesterdays appointment was rather uneventful besides gaining 3lbs. That still puts me at a 9lb loss for this pregnancy. My blood pressure was up a little from where it was normally but they said just to keep an eye on it. Peanut's heartbeat was 144 so nice and strong. I go back in 3 weeks for the dreaded glucose test. I did get some other good news, my 2nd trimester screenings all came back good.

In other news, we (by we I mean me and Matt has agreed) that we are going with a yellow and grey nursery color scheme. Three walls will be yellow and one grey accent wall that I am leaning towards polka dots but then I also saw two big wall vinyls that I loved from pin.terest.So the polka dots may be out I haven't decided for sure yet. I do know that there will be a farm animal element. I do however, not want this so be super babyish that way she can grow with it.

I also realized that I never showed the cake that I had made. Gosh darn pregnancy brain!

It was very delicious!

I Feel Like Throwing A Temper Tantrum

Like a full blown 2 year old not getting what they want in a packed store, feet stomping, screaming tantrum.

I was excited to go the Dr. today. Excited to hear Peanuts heartbeat, make sure everything is healthy and discuss this heartburn I keep having. When I get there I notice a sign on the door. Not thinking too much of it I walk up and read the sign. In big block letters it says that they are closed the 18th-20th for mandatory training. They made every attempt to call scheduled patients and that they were sorry for the inconvenience.

Really, really!! You have 3 phone #'s on file for me. You couldn't reach me?? I leave work (thankfully I don't have to use vacation or sick time to do it!), drive to the appointment and you aren't there. Now I will have to leave work again and drive again to town (because we all know how cheap gas is!). Ugh I am a frustrated irritated hormonal woman right now.

On a positive note, I paid off my last bill from our IF treatments. It made me feel a little better.

Our dinner last night was nice and relaxing. We did look at some baby clothes at Kohls. I think it overwhelmed Matt a bit. Guess he better get used to it!

3 Years

Today is Matt and I's 3rd anniversary. To me it seems so crazy that 3 years has gone by since that crazy exciting wonderful day in 2009. To say that we were naive and blissful about what the future would hold for us is a huge understatement but at the same time what newlywed isn't? We had a plan to hold off getting pregnant so I could finish my Masters, we could have time to just be married, time to fix up the house and time to grow up. Then when we were ready, in my head, it should have taken no more than a few months. Well, I couldn't have been more wrong or more naive.

I hope I'm not wrong in saying but I think that is how most of us felt. So now, when someone says that they are going to be able to plan their pregnancy around such and such time or event I cringe. I don't judge but in my head I think well you hope you can plan it, you hope that pregnancy comes easy for you. I hope you don't struggle, gosh do I hope my friends never have to struggle, they never need me to recommend an RE to them. I hope for the other newlyweds or whenever a couple decides its time I hope things work out as planned.

Ok enough seriousness! I do have our love story on the tab so you can read all the sappiness there. I am not expecting anything too exciting tonight just dinner and relaxing. I did get him 2 gift cards to Cabela's and Bass Pro Shop so he could buy things for the boat or hunting. He is a rather difficult one to shop for. I'm just excited for a mid-week date to just be with each other.

Other exciting news, I am 24w1d as of today! I go to the Dr. for a checkup tomorrow. EEEKKK I can't believe I am already at 24 weeks. At times it feels like it is crawling along and other times it feels like it is flying by!

And now some nostalgic wedding pictures.

I wasn't nice but he should have known better

Matt having some fun after a few too many beverages

My besties wouldn't know where I would be without either of them

Yup rode away in a tractor

My favorite picture of us

Infestation

In all my years of having dogs and outside farm dogs to boot I have never had ones that have had fleas. It has been a while (like since my internship in college) that I have seen live fleas crawling around. Well last night I saw them again, on Zoe. Talk about feeling like the dirtiest person ever! So at 9:30 last night we went to Wal.Mart to get flea bath stuff and a flea bomb for the house. We gave her the bath and Matt is bombing the house while I am at work. We are also going to switch up her and Chunky's flea protection from Frontline to Advatix (I think that is what the vet said) and hopefully in 7 days we bomb the house again and the little devils are gone. I don't think they are too bad in the house because neither Matt nor I have had any bites that we know of. They say you will know if they are biting you so fingers crossed they aren't that bad. I just felt so bad last night because I think she thought we were mad at her. She was giving us pathetic sad eyes. So tonight instead of going to the fair I will be sweeping, doing laundry and possibly shampooing the rugs.

On another note, the building is torn down, we have a painter lined up for the rooms and I might get another weekend off before harvest starts so yay progress!

All Over the Place

I have so many things running through my head these days it really isn't funny. We are trying to tear down a building, my house is a disaster, I have felt terrible, I was annoyed with my in-laws this weekend and kind of still am, I am stressed about getting the nursery done, doing the baby registry and harvest will probably start between next week and the week after. GAH!!!! Let me just break it down and forgive me if I repeat things because frankly I have been doing that a lot.

The building was our neighbors, it was damaged in the storm in June. By damage I mean some siding but the structure is/was still sound. Because his insurance decided to total the building and since his insurance wasn't going to pay to take down the building he asked Matt and his dad if they wanted it. A 40x80 pole barn to store their equipment in, a place I can have my twin bed porch swing (saw it on Pin.terest knew I had to have it), a place to store the boat and less yard to mow. Sure, why not. Well, we weren't in a hurry to take it down until we find out the new building is coming in less than 2 weeks. So everything has been put on hold till we get that building torn down. Which means every other project is put on hold which leads to my next issue, the nursery and spare room.

Way back in July, if you remember I was all ambitious to paint the spare room so I could decorate that and then get started on the nursery. Well long story short it never happened and the room is still not finished and the nursery is still full of junk. Matt doesn't want me painting and quite frankly I don't know if I could paint even if I wanted too. He has promised me as of this morning that once the building is down he will start painting. I'm not holding my breath and will be ready to just hire it out and be done with it. I like to plan things out and this is just not going the way I feel that is should be. It is important to me to get this room done before we do the nursery because we will have a place to store most of the stuff that is in the nursery. Update as of last night-we are just going to hire it done.

This past weekend was fun, camping was fun until it rained Saturday night. However, what was not fun was dealing with a pissy MIL which made a pissy FIL. I also don't appreciate things being thrown back in my face and ungrateful people. That's enough of that matter it is over and done and Matt says he handled it. We did have the cake and it was very very yummy!

The registry makes me super nervous. I'm not sure where to go or what to do. Basically, my mom and I need to take a trip but finding time will be the hard part because harvest will be starting soon which means I will be working most weekends. I shouldn't stress but sometimes I find it hard not too.

Whew that is a lot of words that say basically nothing. So thanks for sticking with me as I ramble on and on.

The Reveal...

Well, I am still waiting on my cake, but we are going to wait till this weekend and do the cake reveal with Matt's brothers, SIL and their kids. We did however, tell our parents. The main reason we broke down early before the cake was that my aunt and uncle from South Carolina (the ones we just visited) were home this weekend and we had an impromptu family cookout with my parents and both sets of aunts and uncles. They had been bugging us since we found out so I made cupcakes on Sunday and used food coloring to change the color of some of the batter. Then last night we told Matt's parents. So without further ado, peanut is a....

                                                                          GIRL!!!!!!

I will say this did come as a surprise because I fully was expecting boy while secretly kind of hoping for a girl. Matt was very shocked and I think a little scared because he hasn't been around little girls that much besides the nieces. I think he is also worried how quickly she will have him wrapped around her little finger =) Names have been discussed but nothing set in stone.

I do have a special request, my friend J, who is the one that told me about Dr. S had her last IUI. This is her last chance at getting pregnant due to age so please say a little prayer, keep your fingers crossed for her, thanks!

Lastly, congratulations to some bloggy friends who have had some awesome news this past week with positive beta's and positive tests!

So....

Everything was great at the appointment today. Peanut is measuring at 20w1d and is weighing in at 12oz. All the tests have come back normal and my blood pressure is good. We do know what we are having, however, the bakery where I wanted to order my gender reveal cake won't be able to make the cake till next week. So you will all have to wait in anticipation =)

Time is a flyin'

Holy cow I have been bad about blogging although I have tried to stay caught up with everyone.

Vacation was nice. It was just nice to get away and relax and have to be anywhere or worry about anything. We did end up in Charleston for the day and my inner nerdy self was so excited. Although we didn't have a chance to do all the historical things I wanted too we did get to the ocean and to the slave market. We also stopped and ate at 2 of the restaurants that had been on Diners Drive-Ins and Dives on Food Network. The first place was a converted gas station and we just appetizers there but the 2nd place was called The Tattooed Moose. It was such a little hole in the wall but the food was so good. I had a Cuban with smoked pork, Matt had a smoked brisket and my cousin's wife had a grilled cheese with bacon. We split an order of fries that were fried in duck fat. It sounds weird but was very very good.

After vacation life has been kind of hectic at work with meetings and gearing up for harvest which will probably start earlier than normal due to the dry weather. We are luckier than most but it still isn't pretty.

On another note, I caved and we ordered a pontoon boat. Well, a big reason I caved was because he parent's will be paying for most of it. As bad as it sounds, we now get a boat without having to fork over tons of money. So we are getting the boat on Wednesday and going camping/boating this weekend!

Whew that was a lot of catching up to do. My brain has been a tad scattered though as we get closer and closer to our appointment on Thursday to see Peanut. Eek can't believe I am 20 weeks. Time sure is flying by!!

My Heart is Breaking...

(This post was started about 3 weeks ago when everything went down but I just haven't had the heart to finish it because I thought maybe things had settled down but sadly they have not)

for Matt. When we are young we all dream about what we want to be when we grow up. Some of us may still be trying to figure it out but for Matt it has never changed. From early on he knew he wanted to be a farmer. He loved working with his hands, seeing what your hard work can produce and the satisfaction that he would get to do it again next year. Now being a mechanic also came like second nature to him and since a farmer has to wear many hats, being a mechanic seemed perfect.

Fast forward to now where he does own some land of his own but the big chunk of the farm still belongs to his grandpa and his grandpa gets 50% and Matt and his dad each get 25%. The trust is set up so that when his grandpa passes away whoever is farming the land has first dibs on it at a predetermined price. Anyways back in June when we had that storm the barn roof was damaged. Not damaged beyond fixing, just needing a new roof. Well his grandpa decided (in my opinion) that it was better to pocket the insurance money than to fix the barn and told Matt and his dad that they need to get rid of all the cattle. Now there were some older cows that probably did need to go and those didn't tear Matt up as much as the load he took last week that had the young cows along with some fresh heifers. When he came home it took everything he had to not break down. The hurt in his eyes was gut wrenching. It was the same look in his eyes when all of this started going down and he did break down and cry. I don't know about you guys but Matt never cries. He might get upset but when there are tears it must be bad.

Now my opinion on the situation is that there are 7 kids in his dads family and out of the 7 kids his dad is the oldest. I think some of the other kids are jealous because they feel that Matt and his dad are getting more from Grandpa than they are. His grandpas 2nd wife also passed away in January I believe so he has no one to occupy his time and has become basically unbearable. This is the main reason that I HATE family farms. I have seen more families broke up over ground than is really necessary because at the end of the day it is just dirt.

Whew it feels a lot better to get that all off my chest. I debated on whether to post about it or not and I knew facebook was not going to be the place because people that air their dirty laundry on facebook is a huge pet peeve of mine.

On a happy note, my blood pressure did return to normal and vacation is only 2 days away!

MIA

Don't worry I am still here. We had our county fair last week and I have been busy getting ready for that the past two weeks. Back to normal today until next Tuesday when we leave for South Carolina. A nice vacay just relaxing poolside at my Aunt and Uncle's.

So I had my 16 week checkup during the fair. Not really the best week to check my blood pressure which was up. The Dr. was concerned but my bottom number was still in the normal range so I go back tomorrow to get it checked again. He did start me on some low dose medicine so hopefully it doesn't get any worse. I'm trying not to worry because that will only make things worse.  However, hearing the heartbeat never gets old =) and it was nice and strong at 155!

On another note, holy cow I'm 16 weeks! Only 4 short weeks and we get to find out if peanut is a pebbles or bam bam. It still feels surreal at times to think that in January our lives will change forever. I did have plenty of offers of babysitters during the fair next year for me. It also made my heart melt to see just how excited my parents are to be grandparents. Not to say they haven't been excited before because they have been but to see them talk to people about it made me smile. I will update tomorrow after my checkup.

Facebook Official

So yesterday, I took the plunge and made the pregnancy facebook official. As dumb as it sounds it was kind of a scary thing because once it is out there, there is no taking it back. This is how we did it.

 

The photographer was our photographer who did our wedding and she lives in our town and I LOVE her. We had a whole photo shoot and if you want to see the whole shoot the website is-

www.photographybyluann.com and along the top click on view proofs. You have to put your email address in but that is it. We took the pictures about 2 weeks ago thanks to the idea I got from pinterest. We haven't told all of Matt's extended family and we are going to be sending some a postcard telling them the news. The pictures were taken at Matt's parents house back by the barn.

My camera battery has died so until I find my charger I can't upload pictures from our weekend but let me tell you, it was a blast. It was so nice to get away and just relax. I will talk more about that when I get some pictures. 

Gettin the heck out of dodge

Matt and I are heading to his brothers house for the weekend. He lives on the eastern side of Ohio on the Ohio River. They have 2 boys, Brady and Owen who are much better than they used to be. Think major brats! We are renting a pontoon boat tomorrow among other things =) there will be plenty of pictures when I get back. Have a great weekend!!

Friday Storms

Friday during the day after my appointment and our lunch date we discussed the weekend and what we were thinking about doing. Little did we know we would spend our Friday night cleaning up and Matt would spend the rest of the weekend tearing down his parents garage.

We were still open late on Friday, but by just a half hour so no big deal. Well around 3:00 or so the sky started getting dark and you could see the storm on the radar but it didn't look too terrible. About 4:30 the wind picked up and started blowing dust everywhere. Our operations manager said we were closing up early and told everyone to get home. I was scared I was going to drive right into it because the worst of it was heading south. Matt called just as I was leaving telling me to stay at work (too late for that) and that it was getting nasty at home. So this girl starts to freak out a bit and couple that with pregnancy hormones, this storm had nothing on me. As I was getting closer to home I could see traffic stopped and fire trucks, ok insert more panic. Thankfully it was just downed power lines but I still had to try 2 different back ways to get home. All the while I am trying to get a hold of Matt and of course he isn't picking up his phone! Thankfully we did not have much damage, some shingles on the shop and house, some of the siding on the shop and just a lot of debris. His grandpa's barn didn't fair that well though, the roof is almost completely gone and it picked up the one corner of the barn. Luckily most of the cattle were down in the pasture but the ones in the barn were okay. At his parents the garage moved off it's foundation and lost most of it's roof as well. The barn over there lost some siding and a few pieces of the roof. All in all though, we were very very lucky to not have the damage a town close to us had and we are so fortunate to have only lost power for a couple of hours.

Dr. Appt Update

To say I was nervous all morning was kind of an understatement. I actually felt sick to my stomach with nerves leading up to this appointment. It had been almost 3 weeks since we had seen peanut and I tend to be a worrier sometimes (shocking right?). I did giggle though because Matt hates going to the Dr.'s office with me because he feels so out of place. I think his face was red for most of the appointment. However, all worries were put aside when I saw peanut in the screen. You could see legs and arms and we measured at 12w3d. According the u/s that put the due date at 1-7-13. I keep joking about a new years baby because I hear they get a lot of free stuff lol not that it really matters in the end. The nurse didn't say much except peanut wasn't very active and she was like oh maybe they are a night time baby and I was like oh dear there goes my sleep! Then it was off to have some more blood drawn for the first trimester screening.

The nurse took my blood pressure (which was still good and for being harvest is very good!), weight which was the same and then she tells me that the Dr. was going to do a full exam. Matt's eyes went as wide as saucers. I didn't even know that this was happening but in my eyes, get it over with for the year. After everything, the Dr. informed us that everything with peanut looked great. We are right on track with everything. Talk about a huge sigh of relief! I go back in 4 weeks but they said that I won't have an u/s at that one =( but the next one I will.

Now that harvest is winding down, I probably will have to work Saturday and that will be it for extended hours I can get back to working on the spare room so once that is finished we can move onto the nursery.

I've Been Such a Slacker

I've slacked on ICLW, I've slacked on following and reading (although I somewhat caught up today), my house is still a disaster and my desk is a complete mess. Welcome to my life during harvest. Mind you this is only wheat and probably one of the smallest wheat crops in our area due to poor weather conditions last fall. However, couple that with being completely wiped out things are just taking a back burner. I had to work all weekend and the weekends are usually when I catch up on cleaning but instead I was parked at my desk talking to customers and getting stuff done around the office. The nice part though was I was allowed to bring Zoe with me so she didn't have to be in her kennel all weekend. She LOVES coming to work with me because the guys all love her and she eats way more human food than she ever gets at home. Monday I was dragging I mean could hardly keep my eyes open. I also get so busy I forget to eat which then makes me feel sick to my stomach which isn't a good thing either.

Nothing else exciting, Dr.'s appointment on Thursday, hoping we get an u/s and actually get to meet with the Dr! It is supposed to be miserably hot this week too, like upper 90's which means I won't do a darn thing when I get home but lay in the AC.

On the pontoon boat front, apparently Matt doesn't take no for an answer and has been looking for used ones and found one about an hour away. Yea still not happy but I did tell him that should he be super serious about getting a boat, the snowmobile has got to go. I guess we will wait and see.

MMM Motorboating

Just a song that has my husband convinced we need a pontoon boat. I also find it catchy and very summery. We do not, however, need a pontoon boat at this point much to Matt's disappointment.

Dr. Appt Update and Fathers Day

Friday at the Dr.'s was nothing exciting. In fact we didn't even see the Dr. just a nurse who went over a bunch of paperwork. She figured me to be at 10w2d on Friday. Woah that just seems a tad crazy too me! Either way I will take it. I also had 7 vials of blood drawn and I HATE needles. Matt was laughing at me, well he said he was laughing with me. I was like hon I was definitely not laughing. They scheduled me for my first u/s with them on the 28th. That would put me at the end of my first trimester. Holy crazy!!

This weekend was packed with things to do but believe me I found time for a nap or 2. Friday night Matt and I went out to dinner, nothing fancy just a local pizza place but it hit the spot. Saturday Matt started combining wheat, which is about 2 weeks earlier than normal but it has been so dry around here that a lot of wheat will come off early. This also means that I might get a fourth of July which never usually happens working at a grain elevator. Saturday night we had 2 graduation parties, one for my cousin and one for my brother's fiance's brother (more on the fiancee part in a minute). We had decided that we would tell the rest of the family at the graduation party but most already knew and they were happy and excited for us. At the next party it was fun to tell a lot of close friends and to see their excitement. It was also easier to somewhat mention that we had struggled and actually had to see a RE. I was still a tad hesitant to tell people but at the same time I was super excited to tell people. Sunday we had breakfast with Matt's parents and dinner with mine. Along the way I somehow have lost my motivation to do anything. Usually my house would drive me insane as messy as it is but this weekend taking a nap sounded much more appealing.

So besides our baby coming, my brother got engaged to his longtime girlfriend. They are planning a June 21st, 2014 wedding. The main reason it is 2 years out is the reception hall they want, which is one of the biggest ones around, has a long waiting list. However, this will allow them to get all the vendors they want too. I couldn't be happier for them although they have a lot to learn but what newly wed doesn't.

It is supposed to be super hot these next few days which means my house will be unbearable and I will have even less motivation to clean. Oh well, there is always another day right?

A Weekend Recap On a Wednesday

This past week and through the weekend were a whirlwind. We had the Ohio Angus Preview Show at our fairgrounds and our association hosted it. It started Friday with a dinner at fellow members, Saturday was the Jr. Show and Sunday was the Open Show. We also put on a dinner Saturday night that my parents were in charge of. Needless to say I was dragging on Monday at work.

A picture from the Jr Show. Ignore the major glare and crappiness. Although this made me super excited to have a LO and that they will be able to show!



This is K's R Kinicky CC7 I call him Kinick usually. He is such a baby and is so laid back.



I have been trying to stay busy so I don't count down the days till Friday and my next appointment but I swear this week is dragging on! I was even out of the office yesterday for farm visits. Which basically my boss and I went driving around and stopped at some customers homes or farms and chatted with them. We are talking about going out again this afternoon just because it has been so slow. Another great perk about my job!

I'm working on catching up on everyone, promise!

Wait What?

First off thanks ladies for all your kind words the last couple of days. I'm so glad I found this community for the support, understanding and friendship it has given me. Now onto the dirty details =)

All day yesterday I was a nervous hot mess. Could hardly concentrate, could hardly eat anything and constantly staring at the clock. Finally, it was time to leave work and go pick Matt up. In typical farmer fashion he wasn't dressed or ready to leave yet, and he always says I'm the slow one. After a quick fill up we finally were headed to Columbus. Well there was one stop so I could go to the bathroom which I swear happens a lot more often these days. We got to Dr. S's around 4:35 so plenty of time to spare. Well they called us back and I am sitting on the table half undressed, we ended up waiting for over a half hour. Apparently, he was in a meeting that ran over. I was kind of shocked because I have never hardly had to wait much over 10 minutes ever there.

So finally Dr. S comes in and we get going. First off, there is only 1 little peanut in there. We did get some good pictures which I forgot at home. The heartbeat was nice and strong at 159. Not to get all sappy but I did get a tear in my eye when I heard the heartbeat. Maybe because I had always wondered what everyone else talked about when they heard the heartbeat. Let me tell you, hearing that made every poke, every prod, every dollar worth it. Now the interesting part. I figured I was around 7 weeks or so but when Dr. S measured it came up to 8w6d. I kind of was in a daze so I figured maybe I read it wrong so I asked Matt and he said no it said 8w6d. Wait what? So confused but it really doesn't matter in the long run.  Finally though it really is real. Not to say that I didn't think I was pregnant before because I knew I was but there was just something about seeing the peanut (that's what we have decided to call him/her) and hearing the heartbeat that gave me a sense of calmness.  Probably one of the most exciting things was signing the release form and being told to make an appointment with my regular ob/gyn. Which I called today and made my appointment for June 15th. Hopefully then I will get a handle on how far along I am and when I am due.

After all the excitement we went and did a little shopping! There is a good sized Destination Maternity store at the one shopping area so we went there. I wish I could have taken a picture of Matt in the store. While I was trying on some pants he somehow wondered into the nursing section. His face was PRICELESS! I did end up getting 2 pairs of pants and since I have been so bloated my other jeans have become so uncomfortable these pants are like heaven. Plus I got a ton of free stuff! We went to Old Navy and then grabbed some dinner and headed home. It was a fantastic day and I am super excited to see what happens on the 15th!

Just Truckin Along

I hope everyone had a very nice, relaxing weekend filled with good food, family and friends! Matt and I had a very busy weekend but it was nice to be busy and keep my mind off of the 4th. Friday night we had a cookout with some friends and I was super excited because my BFF A and her hubby J came! It hasn't been super long since I've seen her but still life gets crazy so I will take any chance I get.

Saturday night we ended up having a cookout with Matt's family. I was irritated with his brother and his mother so needless to say I really didn't talk much. Babyish I know, but it was better than the mean things I was thinking in my head. Matt says I should let things go and not let them bother me but there are just things that I can't. With his mom it is their dog. They have a poodle that is there everything, goes everywhere etc etc. That is fine, Zoe goes a lot of places with us too. However, Zoe isn't allowed in their house and we have never been given a reason why, we just roll with it. If we take Zoe over there she stays outside no biggie. Well I just feel that if my dog isn't allowed in your house why should your dog be allowed in mine? Petty sure but when you let your dog eat off of MY kitchen table I feel like I have the right. My irritation with his brother goes so deep. I should let it go but just as soon as I think I can he does something else and I go back to being annoyed.

Sunday morning at 1am we got a phone call from my mom to go over because the cows got out. Talk about a scary sight though, seeing my moms number pop up on my phone that early in the morning. It has been a long time since I have had to chase cows but thankfully it wasn't that hard and we were back home in bed by 2:30.  Later that day,  Matt and I took a day trip to Cabala's and Bass Pro. Matt has it in his head that we need a pontoon boat, why I have no idea. I guess a boy can dream lol. Of course too there are some that you can finance and the payments are only $160 dollars a month. I told him maybe he needs to take a trip up there with his dad because right now we sure don't need give ourselves a payment. Either way it was nice to get away.

Monday was just a relaxing day just Matt and I and the dogs. We actually ended up having a water fight and being 90+ degrees it felt sooo good.

Nothing else is really going on. I'm still having some nausea although Bird suggested some remedies which have been helping. The sour candy seems to be working the best for me these days. I'm still exhausted and I am still bloated. I still have 5 more days till my u/s. As the day draws closer and closer I get more and more anxious. As bad as it sounds I kind of just want to get it over so I can "hopefully" relax!

I'm sorry this post has become boring, nothing exciting in my life really just sitting here waiting. Although if anyone has some free time and would like to do a rain dance for us I would greatly appreciate it. Yesterday some areas got over 2 inches where we only got maybe 2 tenths. Well some is better than none I guess.

Thinking of the ladies that got some awesome news yesterday, bittersweet news and are still waiting!

I Finally Got...

My frozen coke!!! It was delicious and everything I wanted it to be!

All I Really Wanted

Was a frozen coke! Now I really truly have laid off my Diet Coke addiction because pop doesn't even sound good these days but Monday a frozen coke just sounded so amazing. The weather probably had something to do with it as well. I don't handle the heat very well, actually I am kind of a big baby when it comes to hot muggy days. So Monday I leave the gym really wanting one but the only Speedway in town is on the very north side and I wasn't driving north to go back south. Yesterday I was in Amish country with my dad and of course no frozen coke (although I did get some cheese tarts, homemade bread and fry pies). Today I had to go to the eye doctor and on my way back to work I drive by Burger King. Light bulb goes off because I remember they have them! I was so super duper excited until I go to order and wouldn't you know, their icee machine is down for maintenance. Maybe this is a sign? I buzz next door to McDonald's and get a frozen strawberry lemonade which turns out to be basically frozen sugar with coloring. I know this is trivial and minor but still, can't a girl get her frozen coke?

I am 5w today. 5w it just seems so crazy. The exhaustion is still there, the bloating is still there and the nausea comes and goes. I have had a few sharp pains but nothing ever came of those. 12 more days till the u/s. I will continue to try to keep my mind on other things. For one, finishing our spare room so I can get furniture moved in and can start organizing and pitching. Once I get the painting done I am bringing over a cast iron bed from my Great-Grandparents house. I am so excited because it is a piece of my family in my house and it is just cool looking. I just need to find a mattress and springs for it.

Since I have been so bloated, I decided to order these wraps or bands from Destination Maternity because they are supposed to let you wear your regular jeans longer because they allow you to unbutton them without the jeans falling down. Having been burnt many times by online ordering I read all the reviews and there were quiet a few. There were a handful that said the product wasn't what they expected but and overwhelming majority loved them. I ordered them and was disappointed. The biggest complaint is that the fabric is too thin. When I wear both of them I feel like it does what it is supposed to do but one by itself just feels too thin. Oh well it was only $30 and in the long scheme of things isn't that much.

This is a lot of rambling but I really don't have much to say. I will say that after all of your comments on the last post, I have decided to "out" Matt and I and our struggle when we do announce our pregnancy. It just feels like the right thing to do, to let others who don't have the courage to say anything.

Debating

Back in the day when I thought getting pregnant would be as simple as stopping BC and BD'ing I had thought about how I wanted to let our families know. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep much of a secret from my parents and brother nor Matt's parents. Yet I wanted some cute way to tell our extended family and of course the all important Facebook. Well obviously I had plenty of time deciding on how I wanted to tell, when I wanted to tell and who I was going to first. During this time I realized that I will not be putting u/s pictures on Facebook (does Facebook get a capital F or not?). Don't get me wrong, if that is how you want to share your news or keep people updated I am not judging but I just know for me I won't be doing that. Now that I (God willing) will be able to share my news, in due time, I'm debating on whether or not to mention something about struggling with IF. In a way it would be outing me which anymore doesn't seem to bother me. I have gained some courage since seeing those 2 pink lines and don't immediately shut down anymore when someone mentions babies, getting pregnant etc etc. I know it doesn't bother Matt it was just another hurdle that we had to overcome in his eyes so it won't matter if I mention it or not. For those of you who haven't "outed" yourself yet when you do announce your pregnancy will you? Or has that thought not even crossed your mind. I will say work is super duper slow right now so I do have a lot of extra time to sit around and think about this stuff!

I am 4w2d and am bloated to all get out. I know a lot of it is from the prometrium which is fine I will take it and if it is an excuse to wear yoga pants all the time well I am all in! I am also super exhausted. Going to bed at 8pm sounds magnificent and the other day I took an hour and half nap after work. Going out and taking a nap in my car has been suggested to me but not one I have done yet, emphasis on yet. I also have all day sickness not just morning sickness which is still fine. I will take it because to me it stops me from eating junk (always a positive) and it gives me a sense of calmness that I still am pregnant. Now if only June 4th would hurry up and get here!!

I am keeping all of you in my prayers, the ones who are in the early stages of pregnancy, the ones who have upcoming Dr appointments and the ones still waiting their turn which will come soon!

A Late Mother's Day Post

Yesterday we all know was Mother's Day, duh as if all the Hallmark commercials weren't enough of a reminder! Which I could go off on a whole other direction however, I'm not. As weird as this sounds, the day didn't feel much different from previous ones. I know that I am pregnant and that hopefully next year I get to really celebrate Mother's Day but this year, I just simply wanted to celebrate my mom.

My mom and I are so much alike, to the point Matt even calls me little Stacey. Now, had he called me this 5 years ago I would have argued till I was blue in the face. Now I just smile and say yep I am. I embrace this now because like my mom, I'm stubborn, I go after what I want and I don't like to hear the word no. Now beings that mom and I are so much alike we have definitely had our fair share of fights. One of the hardest times in our relationship was the first summer home from college, wowzers were there a lot of fights. Yet we made it through and it took me going off to college to see that my mom wasn't the enemy. Now if a day goes by that we don't talk it is weird. We still have our fair share of arguments but they never really last more than a day. She frustrates me, I frustrate her you know how the relationships are. Yet, I am so very lucky to have her as my mom.

So this Mother's day I chose to only think about my mom and what an awesome grandma she is going to be.

Just a Quick Update...

Beta #3 came in at 1017! No more blood draws!!! So very happy to be done with that. Still not sure if insurance will cover those or not but anymore it really doesn't bother me.

On the farmers wife side- our corn is all in just have to get the soybeans in but we have had off and on rainshowers since Monday making it too wet. Let's just hope we are able to get them in before Memorial Day that way Matt and I can spend some time together!

And...EEEKKK more exciting news for some lovely ladies!!!! Makes me sooooo happy!!!!!!

Our Own Language

First off I want to say THANK YOU for all your kind words. The amazingness (don't think that is a word) of this community that I have found continues to surprise me. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I have noticed something over the last couple of days, basically ever since I got the good news; we infertiles speak a language that most of the people in our lives don't understand. We are like our own secret club that most people don't want to be a part of but if you are one of the "lucky" ones, well welcome aboard.

In this club, we speak our own language of cycle days, medicines, treatment paths, symptoms, and general frustration with the world. We can mention that we had EWCM and others know exactly what is going on. We talk about a low progesterone number and no one looks at you weird. You mention that your first beta was good, the second was excellent and now the third and non IF people are confused, why are you taking so many blood tests?  When we mention the medication we are taking some look at us like, "oh so you are going to have like 6 kids at a time now?" When we get upset people tend to walk away instead of being there for us. Then should we ever bring up the money we have all spent trying to start a family, the looks are almost too much to bear. But here, here in our secret club there is no judgement, there are only words of encouragement, never ending support, and people who understand. The one part of this club that is different from others is that once you are a member, you will always be a member. We all want the same thing, happiness and for the vast majority of us that is our own baby, for some it is finding peace knowing that they will never get that. Yet, no matter how we find our happiness, we are always there for the other members rooting them on, offering consoling words, or just simply letting each other know we are there for them.

In all honesty, you ladies were one of the first people I wanted to tell (obviously besides our parents)! I knew you would all get it, you knew the struggles, you have lived the struggles and that made your kind words mean all the more to me.

So while I never wanted to be a part of this club, I am so very grateful for all that it has taught me. I'm grateful for everything I have learned about myself, about Matt and I's marriage and about life's ups and downs. I am grateful for the bloggy friends I have =). Most importantly I am so grateful that I have become more grateful of the little things in my life. I also don't think I could use the word grateful one more time!

And just quick update- 2nd Beta came in at 511, had my 3rd one this morning so I probably won't get results until later tonight or tomorrow morning. We also set my first u/s appointment for June 4th eeekkk!!!

Keeping my fingers crossed out there for you guys still waiting test and a big yippee to those who are getting their BFP or who are starting on their next path!

So...the wait is over

***This post has been 3 days in the making, I apologize for the absence but I''m back now***

So my TWW ended with a....BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was in utter disbelief when I saw it because I had been crampy the days leading up to my test so I was just expecting AF to show up. I also had my doubts since my progesterone was low and wasn't where they want it to be. But none of that mattered because I'm Pregnant! It sounds so weird to say yet. I had my first beta and the number came back at 122. It was nice to be at the high end of something for once! My next beta is on Monday so please keep your fingers crossed.

I do want to say thank you to all of you for always being there, always rooting for me and please know that I am always always rooting for you guys!

My First Award!

I feel so lucky that Ann (The Infertile Optimist) blessed me with The One Lovely Blog Award.

  Like me she knew she wanted to be a mom but wanted to live life first. Her writing just hits a spot with me and I can relate. I love that about the blogs that I read that I can relate, no matter the reason for infertility or the treatment path I can relate to the writer. I'm so glad I came across her blog because I love finding new blogs to read and I hope that we can encourage each other on our paths.

Here are the steps to follow after receiving this award:

• Share who gave it to you with a link back to their blog. (See above)

• Write down seven random facts about yourself.

• Give this award to fifteen other bloggers.

• Let them know they've won.

• Pop the award on your blog.

Random Facts
1. I played the piano for 6 years and I'm sure if I sat down today I could still play, I think it is just like riding a bike

2. I HATE bacon and can barely eat eggs. I know right the farm girl doesn't like eggs and bacon I'm not sure if this also makes me un-American.

3. I have only one sibling, a younger brother. After many years of not getting along we finally are closer than ever before

4. I was a 10 year 4-Her and the fair was my favorite part of summer, actually it still is

5. The only class I ever failed was Chemistry in college and when I took it again, D stood for diploma!

6. I am deathly afraid of haunted houses to the point I almost threw up the last time I was in one

7. I can't stand the smell or taste of coffee, yuck

Now onto the gifting-Which I don't think I can do 15 since a lot of my followers have already received it so I will just do as many as I can.

Dawn- Mission: IMPOSSIBLE...so far
Alexis-Our Journey Through This Lovely Life
Melissa-My Weight Loss Journey/PCOS Story
Lucky As Sunshine
Infertile625-Hidden Infertility
Keep Calm Carrie
Stephanie- Goodluck Try Again
Emily-Working on a Better Me
Bird Meets Bee

Now onto letting the lovely ladies know!